𝗨𝗚𝗟𝗬 // 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗼𝗻

053

It hits me again in the ride home as I sit in comfortable silence, I can see Steve staring at me from the corner of my eye.

I pretend I'm find and chuckle, "eyes on the road lover boy."
Clearly my act was believable as he sighs in relief and turns his eyes back to the road ahead, "can't a guy admire his girlfriend?"

"Not when it means possibly hitting a deer," I point my finger to a sign on the road warning of the animals, "you know how I feel about that."

"Oh I know!" He laughs, hands firm on the steering wheel, eyes suddenly aggressively focused, "you cried when u saw that one in the road once."

Memory returns. A small deer, barely alive, barely experiencing happiness laying on the side of the motorway. Despite the blood pouring from its ears and the eternal target now on its head, from the angle it laid, it looked like it was smiling.
Smiling because it got to see the headlights just one time.

Dread fills my stomach and a single tear falls down my cheek.
I am not a deer to hunt.
So why do I feel like one?

A soft hand grasps my thigh, "rubes.."

"Sorry.. I felt better for a moment there in the parking lot but.."

He gives me a small smile, "your mum is wrong Ruby. About you." I'm picking at my skin again.

"Youre not.. inconsiderate or selfish, you're afraid and.. and I'm here for you. For as long as you'll let me." He keeps his eyes strained on to the road but I know he wants to lock them with mine. I know because it's the same feeling I have right now as I force myself to look away in fear I might cry, a gravitational energy wanting my pupils to lock with his.

Despite the fact that I'd made my decision, that if Vecna comes I have made it clear I want it to be me, Steve stands by me.
I know he wants anything but that, he wants the ultimate unrealistic happy ending where we both live forever, but despite that, he squeezes my thigh and keeps his teary eyes on the road, hoping I don't notice.

He's angry. But I think maybe watching my mother made him realise anger isn't what anyone needs right now.

"I think.." he starts up as we pull into a parking spot faraway enough from Eddie's that it's not suspicious, "I think you should talk to Max."

I sigh and shuffle awkwardly.

"I know- I can't convince you that things will be ok.. that we'll find a way out of this. But maybe.. maybe talking to someone in the same shoes will help."

***

We sneak around the trailers into a large caravan, climbing over pillows and beer cans before speeding off. As Steve puts his feet on the peddle I'm suddenly glad he had spare shoes in his car.

I lean into the passenger seat and breathe out my anxieties as I feel a presence behind me, jumping as Eddie leans on my shoulder, startling me half way to death.

"Eddie!" I hold a hand to my chest in surprise.

"Rubes, you ok? You kinda.. went away for a bit there."

I laugh and turn around to face him, before we can be too close, he cautiously moves back, "emotionally or physically?"

A soft smile, "both?"

"Yeh I.. I'm fine I just, had to go somewhere for a bit, attempt clear my head, make it worse, the usual.." his turn to laugh this time as he nods in understanding.

"Yeh I uh.. I get that."

We sit in silence for a moment.

"Look I uh.. I know you've probably heard this a billion times now," his eyes drift to Steve for a moment, "but.. a lot of us want you to stay. So please don't fight that."