A Fuckton of Polygrumps

Egobang: Lost Pt. 2

Synopsis: The angst continues, fast forwarding six months ahead. Can Arin finally confront his feelings for Dan? Will it be too little, too late?

"All you sinners stand up, sing hallelujah," Dan's phone sang, vibrating on the nightstand. "And if you can't stop shakin', lean back, let it flow right through ya-"

"Mm, let it go to voicemail," Brian groaned, his arm around Dan's thin waist. "Too early..."

Dan grinned, nuzzling into his embrace gently. Brian's eyes were still shut tight and the sun hadn't even begun to rise yet. Against his better judgement, he looked at the screen. Arin's face was front and center, a picture of him making an ugly face with all his chin rolls and a middle finger up the nostril for good measure. Dan couldn't help but grin. He reached for his phone, but stopped short when he felt Brian's hand slide into his boxers.

"Thought it was too early, you fucker," Dan teased, shuddering at the touch.

"Eh, I'd rather make you moan than have you answer your phone at the ass crack of dawn. Screen's too bright."

"I...I can call back! You win," he whined, Brian's fingers wrapping around his member. "You're the worst, you know that? The absolute fucking worst," he laughed, suppressing a moan.

"You're into it now, so it's not as fun," Brian grumbled with a fake pout, rolling over.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, fuckface," Dan giggled, rolling over as well and kissing along Brian's neck. "Go back to sleep. You still got plenty of hours."

Brian went soon knocked out again, snoring loudly and obnoxiously. Dan slipped out of the bed, quickly taking his phone with him and closing the bathroom door behind him. He took a deep breath, holding the phone tight in his large hands. He hasn't spoken to Arin in months. There was no telling what would happen in this call.

"Speak," the deep, groggy voice on the other end yawned.

"A-Arin? Hey," Dan stammered, the name feeling foreign on his tongue. "It's...it's me."

His eyes wandered to his watch. Fuck, it was 4:36 in the morning. Neither of them should have been awake.

"Hey, stranger," Arin replied as if nothing had changed between them. "I saw an ad for your show earlier."

"Did you? That's crazy weird, huh?"

Fuck, Dan thought. He was being so awkward.

"You called earlier...I'm sorry I missed you," he continued as casually as he could. "Did you need something?"

"Ah...shit, I didn't think that through...I'm a little wasted."

"Uh huh."

"How are things over there? I think I called because I crazy fucking miss your voice, man. It's not the same without you-"

"It's been six months, Arin," Dan cut in impatiently. "This is the first time we've talked in six fucking months and you're not even sober."

"Yeah? Well, you could have called me," Arin shot back defensively. "What, Mr. Famous too busy to check in now?"

"That's absolute bullshit. You know why I didn't call. You acted like a fucking child, not even bothering to see me off at the airport when I left! So, yeah, I figured you'd call when you were ready. Forgive me for not groveling at you feet and begging your forgiveness when I didn't do a damn thing wrong!"

"Well, maybe I would have called sooner if...forget it. Never mind."

"If what?"

"How are things with Brian," he asked abruptly.

"Um? Fine? We have an apartment in the middle of the city, which is nice..."

"The sex any good? Brian's kinda old, isn't he," Arin went on passively.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? The first call in six months and you have the balls to ask about my relationship like it fucking matters to you? It's too early for your childish bullshit."

"I was just asking! What the hell crawled up your ass and died?!"

"You can't have this shit both ways," Dan said, his teeth clenched. "You can't play with my emotions and then get mad when I find someone else. That's fucking bullshit. I have to go. Bye."

"B-" Arin started, realizing Dan had already hung up. "Ye..."

Dan slammed his phone on the bathroom counter, trudging back into the bedroom. He slipped under the covers, nuzzling against Brian and shutting his eyes tight. If he tried hard enough, he could pretend nothing happened.

Arin sat at the kitchen table, fingers tangled in his silky hair as he sighed loudly. Drinking probably wasn't the best idea. He just expected things to work themselves out. They usually did. He and Dan had never been mad at each other this long. Their previous arguments could be resolved in a few minutes.

"He's right, you know," Suzy murmured, sitting across from him. "You can't have it both ways."

Arin groaned loudly, his head down on the table. He knew he'd been a dick, but how to reconcile it? Suzy looked at her husband's pathetic form, the ring Dan gave him still on his finger next to his wedding ring. He obviously still cared, but things had become so fractured that there didn't seem to be an easy fix.

"Maybe call him back when you're not drunk," Suzy suggested, her voice gentle and she held his hand in hers.

"This is my fault, isn't it," he asked, not bothering to look up.

"What is?"

"Everything! If I just told him how I felt, he wouldn't have left and we wouldn't have to be this fucking broken..."

"He probably still would've left, but it would have been harder for him to, I guess."

"How do you even fix a problem like this?"

"There's no easy answer except to tell him how you actually feel. It's not as hard as you want to make it. It will, however, be a lot fucking harder after the call you made just now."

Arin didn't say anything, but his lack of protest was a sign that he actually understood what she was saying.

"Let's go to bed. I'll think about it in the morning when my head isn't fucked up," he yawned, struggling to stand.