A Fuckton of Polygrumps

Rubberdoop: Incubus

Synopsis: This one was based on a request from the comments! I'm thinking of making it a series. Ross is an incubus summoned up by a curious Barry. It's really short but cute!

Barry leafed through the heavy leather-bound book he'd pulled from his attic. It was a pretty boring day and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to hunt around for hidden treasures in the stuffy attic of his house. Among piles of vintage weaponry, he found the old book in all its dusty glory.

The pages were torn and folded at the corners, but the words were still in pristine condition. His olive green eyes scanned the various paragraphs of what he concluded to be gibberish. There were messy annotations on each page. The page that caught his eye immediately said something about a demon in the corner.

"In...cu...bi?" He read slowly, squinting to make out the wording.

And he was so bored that he actually considered reading the spell. With a shrug of his shoulders, he began mumbling the foreign words on the yellowing paper. He blinked slowly, almost disappointed that a wormhole didn't split his bedroom in half or something magical. As he tossed the book aside, there was a loud clap of thunder and a flash of light. A thick fog rolled in through the bedroom door and loud cackling echoed off the walls. 

"G'day, scrublord," a thick Australian voice chuckled. "Whip your dick out. Let's get this over with."

"I...what?"

"You summoned an incubus, didn't ya? Let's hurry this shit up, huh?"

"What's...an incubus," Barry asked, still incredibly confused. 

"You really summoned something you know nothing about?"

Barry bashfully nodded and awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. The demon rolled its eyes and snapped, the rumbling thunder suddenly calming and the eerie laughter ceased. The fog cleared and revealed a pale girl with bright blue eyes and sharp cheekbones began to take form.

"Look, I'm a sex demon kinda thing, so...you got any...dicks that need sucking or...? Look, Barry, was it? It's gonna take me, like, three hours to get back to Hell from here, so I advise you make use of me somehow."

Barry sighed and thought to himself for a moment. The demon's form flickered from male to female while Barry thought of what to do. 

"I'm like, super asexual, so it's kinda...um, if you're gonna be around for a few hours, wanna hang out? I was gonna watch some Breaking Bad..."

"W-what?" The incubi's echoing voice asked. "You don't wanna fuck me?"

"Nah. We can spoon? It's like sex because my dick'll be on your butt, so you kinda win."

"I...never had a guy refuse the sex..."

"There's a first time for everything, I guess?" Barry  said with a shrug. "It's okay if you don't want to."

"I guess if I'll be stuck here for a while, we can...do whatever."

"Awesome," Barry gushed, hugging the demon tight. "What should I call you?"

"Um...Ross?"

"I like that name! I'm Barry."

"Nice to meet you."