A Fuckton of Polygrumps

Prison Grumps

Synopsis: So, I've had this idea for an AU for a super long time, so we'll see how this goes. What do you get when you put a bunch of Grumps in a prison? 

The halls of the prison are long, hollow chambers. Every cry, whisper, and threat echoes off the walls. The sounds on the floor were mostly the same: clattering of plastic meal trays and even worse plastic utensils, fights, unintelligible ramblings...prison sounds. The sounds of the third floor, however, were often hushed other than a single siren song of one lowly inmate. 

Danny, this inmate, would often rise early in the morning and sing whatever sad melody that came to his head. His long, curly locks obscuring the beauty of his face as he sang. These days, no one bothered to try silencing him. In fact, some of the newer inmates were even calmed by his song. The Cellblock Siren became one of the most desired inmates even hours after being transferred to the prison. 

"Good morning, degenerates," Barry, one of the more pleasant wardens yelled down the hall. "We've got fresh meat so play nice and try not to kill each other."

It was a particularly stormy morning, thunder crackling and rain pounding on the windows. The hall was filled by the familiar clinking of handcuffs and footsteps on the smooth floor. Dan held the bars of his cell particularly tight that morning, singing as if it would protect him from whatever awful degenerate he have for a cellmate. 

"It's your lucky day, Avidan," Barry scoffed, unlocking the cell door. "You got a new playmate."

One look at his new cellmate was enough to send a hearty shiver down Dan's spine. The man looked only a hair shorter than him, but he had broad shoulders and a mean look on his face. 

"Danny, this is Arin. You two play nice. I better not find any blood stains tomorrow morning, got it?"

He uncuffed Arin's hands and locked the cell door once he was inside. Dan stared at him for a moment, his song suddenly stuck to his throat like a bad cough. So, Arin cracked his knuckles before holding out a bruised hand. 

"In for narcotics, right," he asked, actually smiling a bit. 

"Yeah...selling and using," Dan answered cautiously, still trying to get a read on his new cellmate. "You?"

"I ate a guy's leg off."

Dan recoiled at Arin's touch and shuddered. He only slightly relaxed when Arin began laughing. His laugh was actually pretty adorable.

"I'm kidding, you dope," he snickered. "I just fell in with a bad crowd and did some illegal shit."

"Obviously," Dan replied, laughing too. "Like what?"

"I'm not allowed to say. I just worked for this shady guy and that's all I can tell you."

Dan settled down, lying back on his shitty bed. 

"How long have you been in here," Arin asked, lying down on his own bed. 

"Long enough."

"That's fair."

There was a silence before Dan rolled over to face Arin. 

"You're...not gonna try to fuck me, right?"

"Not without your permission. I'm a criminal, not a monster."

Dan smiled and climbed down onto Arin's bed. He was still a pretty cuddly person despite what prison did to his mind. He nuzzled his head into Arin's neck and sighed quietly.

"Maybe prison won't be so bad," Arin chuckled. 

"Maybe."

"Hey; was that you singing?"

Dan nodded and sighed.

"It's what I do to keep myself sane...and other inmates seem to appreciate it so it's a daily routine these days."

Arin closed his eyes and let out a soft, contented hum. Of all the cellmates in the prison, he got someone down to earth and calm. It was a welcome breath of fresh air. Of course, he'd been incarcerated before, but this was the first time his cellmate wasn't some horny beefcake in prison for axe murder or a wild-eyed savage. He wasn't particularly concerned with being the alpha male, but it certainly didn't hurt to know that it was him in this arrangement. Besides, Dan was someone he barely knew but would definitely defend with his life. 

Dan was not the only one getting a new cellmate. Just a little way down the hall sat a skinny little pissant with a knack for driving his roomies insane. This blue-eyed menace also earned himself a nickname among the prisoners: Baby Blue. His real name, allegedly, was Ross. 

Suzy, another fan favorite of the wardens, unlocked his cell door and rolled her eyes when she saw the way Ross' eyes gleamed with mischievous curiosity. 

"A new toy," he laughed. 

That was, he laughed until he saw his cellmate in all his intimidating glory. This inmate, Brian, had blue eyes too, but they were cold, ruthless, and calculating. He stared on with a gaze that almost brought Ross to eager, masochistic tears.

"Do not kill each other. I know it's a prison and whatever but I don't like paperwork. Make my job easy, will you," Suzy grumbled, noticing the eerie silence between Ross and Brian. 

She locked the cell door and waited a moment to see if the two would even speak to each other. It was only after she left that either of them would say anything.

"What're you in for, handsome," Ross asked, lips curled up into a devious smile. 

"No introductions?"

"We'll get there. Tell me what you did! Wait, no, let me guess: murder?"

"You're good. What gave me away?"

Ross grinned and pointed to Brian's knuckles. They were bruised to hell. 

"Very observant of you. My turn. I'm guessing from that baby face and the flirtation that you're in for...prostitution?"

Ross was surprised. This guy was just as smart as he was, if not smarter. They'd definitely have some fun together. 

"Very good yourself, old man," he purred, climbing off his bed and stretching a bit. 

Brian bristled at the nickname but brushed it off. After all, he needed to work on controlling his anger better. So, he sat back and looked at the small stack of books under Ross'  bed. Without speaking, he picked up the worn-out copy of Shakespeare's Macbeth. 

"Cute and literate? Geez, how lucky am I," Brian muttered with biting sarcasm. 

Ross only smiled and looked at the clock on the wall outside the cell. It was about 11:30 AM. Soon, he could go eat and see Dan and whoever his new cellmate was. He opened his mouth to speak before glancing over at Brian, who was already reading through Macbeth. 

Okay, Ross thought. This guy obviously isn't interested in fucking me right now...I guess we're good enough for each other. 

Brian was immediately fond of Ross, too. The younger man was clearly intelligent and even a little too cunning for his own good. There was nothing malicious about him and he seemed more like a mischievous teen than a hardened criminal.  With Ross, jail wouldn't be so bad.