A Fuckton of Polygrumps

Rubberbang: Barista

Synopsis: Dan is a barista at Starbucks trying to figure out a regular customer who flirts with him constantly

Dan dropped to his knees behind the counter at Starbucks as soon as the door opened. He groaned, seeing a pair of blue eyes from his view behind the counter. He'd recognize that shit-eating grin and outrageous cheekbones anywhere. He'd been seeing that same man every morning for about a month. Every morning at 7:33 A.M., the Australian walks in.

"Arin," he whispered to the guy next to him. "Take that guy's order for me."

"Ross? Okay. Should I even ask why the fuck you're hiding behind the bagels and breakfast sandwiches?"

"He comes in every day and I can't talk to him no matter how hard I try, so take his order and make him leave," Dan said as if it were obvious.

"What a gaylord," Arin snorted, sliding over to the cash register. "Whaddup, Ross? How's it going," he said to the blue eyed man.

"Hey, Arin, I was wondering if you've seen Dan around here lately? You know, skinny, tall, long hair and brown doe eyes," Ross asked, a hint of Australian accent in his tone.

"He...just...left," Arin dragged out as Dan tried to crawl out the back.

"Come on now, dude; we've known each other for too long. I know when to call bullshit."

"FUCK!"

Dan tripped over his own shoelace and stood up frantically.

"Well, he just came back. Nice hustle, Leigh Daniel," Arin chuckled, slowly and sarcastically applauding.

"I'll only have something if you'll take my order," Ross said, locking eyes with Dan.

The tall man rolled his eyes and switched places with Arin. He blew stray strands of curly hair from his eyes and leaned on the cash register.

"What do you want?"

"I'll have my usual vente caramel macchiato with extra whipped cream. See? Was that so hard," the Aussie taunted, his grin expanding the more Dan shifted awkwardly.

Dan rolled his eyes and tapped in the appropriate keys on the cash register.

"That'll be $4.80."

"Oh, and I want a toasted plain bagel."

"$6.83."

Ross smiled, setting down a few bills and a fuckton of change, because Ross is the fucking worst. Dan rolled his eyes again and snatched the change, placing it into the register.

"You can wait down at the end for your drink. Your bagel will be out in a-"

"You haven't shaved, huh? Stubble's a cute look on you, you know that," Ross cut in, leaning across the counter and increasing the level of discomfort on Dan's end.

"I-I-"

There was a loud 'ding' sound that signaled the bagel was well-toasted. Dan hastily turned away and got it, holding the bag out for Ross to take. There was a long silence and Dan groaned impatiently.

"Take. It." He said through gritted teeth.

Ross wasn't necessarily mean to him or anything. He was actually pretty nice to him, giving great tips and making conversation. Dan just hated the flirting because he hated how flustered he got around him.

"It's for you," Ross said casually.

"T-thanks...?"

With that, he left. Ross smirked one last time before walking out. Dan gritted his teeth and ran his fingers through his curly hair.

"What a fucking tool!"

"Dude comes in and gives you a bagel," Arin murmured. "Yeah, total dick, right?"

"No, you don't understand," Dan protested. "Mother fucker comes in here every single day, requests that I make his drink, flirts with me, and then leaves."

"And?"

"And what?! Why can't he just ask me out? He sits there with a sly ass grin on his face and refuses to ask me out! That's bullshit!"

"Maybe he wants you to ask him?"

"I know he does, but I'm not gonna do it. I'm not playing his game. I'm not a pawn in his fucking game."

Arin raised his eyebrows in disbelief. Dan fidgeted for a moment before untying his apron. Arin knew him better than anyone, and that meant knowing when he was lovesick.

"Go," Arin said, holding the door open. "I'll cover for you."

Dan nodded obediently and sprinted down the sidewalk. This flirting game had gone on for at least five weeks. He had to figure this out. Dan was constantly in and out of relationships due to his inability to commit. Even then, he was more terrified of getting hurt, which has happened plenty of times too. He found Ross leaning against the wall of a building just across the street. Like the smug bastard he was, Ross seemed to be waiting patiently as if he knew Dan would chase after him.

"Oh, nice of you to join me f-"

"Listen, asshole, I don't know what game you're playing, but you'd better knock it off," Dan ordered, pressing the other against the bricks.

"You mad, bro?"

"Yes, I'm pretty fucking mad, Ross. Why are you playing this game with me? Do you like me; Y/N?"

"Well, of course I do. How much more obvious could I fucking be? I come in every day just to see you, idiot!"

Dan just stood there for a moment, dumbfounded and relieved.

"Then why didn't you just ask me out?"

"Because that's too easy, nimrod-"

"Just shut up, Ross. I don't even care anymore," the taller one sighed, pressing his lips against Ross' hastily.

"Also, do you want your car keys back? I pick pocketed them off you a few days ago and I figured you might want them back..."

"Goddammit, Ross!"

"I'll just keep them and be on my way-"

Ross slid from Dan's grasp and tauntingly held out the keys before running down the sidewalk.

"Ross, you fucking dick, get back here!!"

"If you can find me, you'll get them back!"

"GODDAMMIT, ROSS!!"