A Fuckton of Polygrumps

Ninja Ship Party: Genghis Khan

Synopsis: The ever-heroic Daniel Y. Sexbang has come face-to-face with his nemesis, the mysterious and forever mute Ninja Brian. Heavily based on the music video and song by Miike Snow of the same name. Kinda wanna do smut for this fic...we'll see if anyone likes this well enough.

  I know there's no form
And no labels to put on
To this thing we keep
And dip into when we need  

Danny was so close. He could taste victory. All the henchman milled about and they had no idea that he was there, ready to strike. For the millionth time, he'd snuck his way into the lair of Ninja Brian, probably the most badass villain in the history of villainy...or badassery. Many heroes had tried and even perished trying to foil his evil plans. Some heroes didn't even make it far enough to see what those plans were. All they would see were those cold, unrelenting blue eyes before they were tortured or otherwise dealt with to Ninja Brian's whim. His ruthlessness knew no bounds...for most, anyway.

Danny, however, was different. He'd tried and failed many times when it came to plan-foiling. Still, he'd been doing it for what felt like a decade and always left alive. Brian found him incredibly entertaining to toy with and Danny found their encounters exhilarating. They often played this sick game of cat and mouse whenever either of them was too bored with their lives. They dawned their costumes and prepared to play, knowing the unspoken rules better than they knew their own middle names. He prayed silently to the gods of rock and held his blue bass tight. The air felt different today, though. He knew he had to stay on his guard because Brian was good enough to get into his head if he so much as blinked at the wrong time. So, Danny tiptoed from pillar to pillar, blending in surprisingly well considering how awfully gawdy his costume was. 

Crinkle. FUCK. Dan's eyes widened. Like an idiot, he'd stepped on a loose candy bar wrapper. He took a deep breath, all shuffling about stopping around him. He was surrounded. Rather than fight, he concede, holding his hands up. He knew too damn well that Ninja Brian would get far more use out of him alive rather than dead. Still, having his hands and feet bound left him feeling helpless. And Ninja Brian's eyes felt especially cold and unrelenting in their anger on this particular day. He pressed a button on some odd remote and a singular image was shown on the screen. Danny knew exactly what the picture was and he hated how the guilt rose within him. Brian's sign language was fast enough to make him dizzy.

"Explain." 

"Yeah, I fought the Manticore," Danny conceded flatly, still gesturing with his restrained hands. "But I mean-"

And I don't have the right
To ask where you go at night
But the waves hit my head
To think someone's in your bed

I get a little bit Genghis Khan

I don't want you to get it on

With nobody else but me

Danny had never seen so much rage in one pair of eyes before. The hand Ninja Brian used to gesture with clenched into a tight fist. He clicked through a few more pictures a villains Danny'd encountered. 

"Yes, also the Dick Elders in the year 6969...and that dragon who is totally not a guy I met at a bus station in a dragon suit...and the cookie-loving demons..."

"How'd those work out for you, genius," Ninja Brian signed, fingers flying at speeds Danny had never seen before. "Have a good time?"

"Yeah, those were actually pretty fun-"

Danny shut his mouth as soon as he saw Brian gesture to a henchman. The henchman flipped a switch, lowering a laser from the ceiling. Danny's eyes grew wide and Ninja Brian's joy was clearly increasing the more he could see Danny's fear. Ninja Brian never used anything so lethal with Danny before and that alone let him know the severity of his fuck-up.