A Fuckton of Polygrumps

Two Gay Dads: Danny's House

Synopsis: Dan takes Axel home with him so Arin can keep the secret from Suzy a little longer. Also, changing Brian's daughter and wife's names because he doesn't want them mentioned in fics 

Dan sat at the kitchen counter and stared at Axel intently. He furrowed his brows, frustrated only with himself for letting Arin talk him into taking this child home with him. 

"Quit staring at me like that," he murmured, pointing a finger at the baby.

Axel smiled a toothless little smile, his eyes completely obscured by his fat cheeks. He grabbed hold of Dan's finger and babbled happily as if he'd come from Dan's family line itself. 

"You're not gonna be here long so don't get comfortable. This is just until we find you a home. You're like a puppy. A happy, green-eyed puppy."

Axel giggled and held up his chubby little arms. Dan got up from the counter and flared his nose.

"Nope. I already held you enough today. You're fat."

Axel cocked his head and made a curious baby noise. Dan lifted up Axel's little shirt and poked the chubby little tummy.

"You're. Fucking. Chubby. That's right, mister. You're fat and squishy like a human marshmallow."

The baby giggled again and Dan hated that he was smiling too. He had to admit; this was probably one of the cutest lil shits he'd ever seen. He gave in, swooping Axel up and bouncing him a bit on his bony hip. 

"Stop doing that. I can't get attached to you, buddy."

Still, Dan found it impossible to put Axel back down. He held him close, humming quietly. He smiled when Axel's eyes lit up.

"You like music, huh? Guess it's never too late to start," he chuckled, using his free hand to scroll through his phone for some good music. "What're ya feelin'?"

Axel hiccupped.

"Yeah, I'm feelin' some Def Leppard too. Glad we agree on something, kid."

Dan couldn't help but dance a little bit as he wandered around the apartment. He murmured the lyrics to each song, making sure Axel knew every fact and piece of trivia about every album and song. 

"Dan, I brought pizza!" Barry called from the front door. "Also a Brian."

"Thanks, Bear!" 

Dan hardly realized Axel was still perched on his hip until Barry and Brian stood in the doorway, each formulating questions that might seem appropriate for the moment.

"That's a baby..." Barry noted.

"Shit, um...this is Axel," Dan explained, holding up the baby Lion King style. "He's...Arin and I..."

"Is that why you asked me to bring diapers? You're far less interesting than I initially gave you credit for," Brian scoffed, holding out a large duffel bag. 

"Look, he showed up on Arin's doorstep and he hasn't told Suzy about it yet so he asked me to take him," Dan blurted out. "Pleeeeease don't tell Suzy!"

Barry nearly dropped the pizza box as he gasped and knelt down to look at Axel up close. Axel squealed and pressed his little hands to Barry's scruffy face.

"I'm immediately in love," Barry whispered, pressing his nose to Axel's small button one. "I won't tell as long as he gets to stay here."

"Are you serious," Brian demanded. "Neither of you...let alone Arin, know how to raise a child."

"Then stay and help us. After all, you're doing a pretty great job with your own," Dan replied in all seriousness.

Brian was taken aback. He'd never heard Dan say anything serious about his parenting, let alone something so sweet. It clearly came from a place of admiration. 

"I mean, this is nothing permanent but it'd be really fuckin' nice if you stayed with us and made sure we didn't fuck this kid up beyond repair," Dan continued. "I'd owe you a million, Bri."

Brian furrowed his eyebrows and nodded slowly.

"I mean, I have the house to myself for at least a week so I can be around as much as you need me," he conceded, opening the pizza box. 

Barry held Axel in his arms, bouncing around a bit and trying to hide his glee. He was always fond of cute things and babies were no exception. Dan sat next to Brian on the couch and smiled wearily. 

"I don't know how you do it," he sighed, running his hands through his tangled curls with exasperation. 

"Patience and a lot of coffee," Brian retorted, stuffing a slice of pizza into his mouth. "And yeah, it looks like I have it all together to anyone who isn't a parent but parenting in itself is literally just making a bunch of mistakes and hoping you haven't fucked the child up too badly. You hope that you've given them the skills they need to survive and pray that you haven't ruined your relationship with them by being too strict."

Dan looked over at Brian and it felt like looking at a totally different human being. It already felt like seeing Brian parent was seeing someone different than one of his closest friends, so to see him be that transparent was incredibly comforting. 

"I'm glad you're here then...I was scared shitless."

"You're doing a good job. Axel cries way less than Daisy did when she was that age."

"Yeah...he's a quiet kid when it comes to crying. He tries talking a lot, though. Lots of sounds but not a huge vocabulary"

"Wow, maybe he is your kid."

"Ha. Anyway, I changed him like, 20 minutes ago so he should be good for a while."

"I brought over any leftover packs of diapers since Daisy's grown out of them. Hopefully, that should be enough for a while...at least until you figure out what to do."

"He fell asleep in my arms," Barry whispered incredibly loudly, grinning with pride. "I'm like, the best at dadding."

"Good job, Bear," Dan whispered, holding out a celebratory slice of cheese pizza. 

"Why, thank you, Avidad."

"Did you just."

"Dadiel Avidadiel," Barry snickered. "Your name is officially my favorite."

"See, Danny? You've been parenting this whole time," Brian quipped, taking a bite of Barry's pizza. 

They continued whispering to each other, Brian trying to keep Dan calm while Barry tried to make them both feel better. After maybe an hour, Axel opened his wide eyes and whined quietly. 

"Wow, not even crying? You're lucky," Brian observed. "Axel seems like an agreeable kid."

"Yeah, he's pretty hard to resist," Dan sighed, finally taking the baby from Barry, who'd been holding him for almost an hour or so. 

"I can start the food if you wanna stay with-"

"Show me what to do...I think I've been good with his food but you know more about what a baby can't eat."

"You seem to be more enthusiastic about parenting. You gonna keep him?"

"I can't keep him forever...just until a better option comes alone. I dunno..."

"Well, let's start small. Grab a spoon. You're gonna see what mashed up carrots looks like."

"Thanks, Bri."

"Whatever, man, it's fine-"

"No," Dan persisted, taking hold of Brian's shoulder with his free hand and looking at him full on. "I mean it. I know you're busy and this is crazy and-"

"Dan, stop. I wouldn't do this if I didn't want to. You know that. Relax. I'm at your disposal."

Hell, Dan thought. Having four dads never hurt anyone.