A Fuckton of Polygrumps

Game Grumps High School Host Club: Ross' Route Pt.1

Out of the goodness of your heart, you offered to run a few errands for Brian while he was subbing for another teacher and grading papers. He was undeniably busy. One of these errands for you to run was to bail Ross out of detention right after school. Reluctantly, you walk to a side of the school you've never even laid eyes on before. You descend the stairs to the basement and tread as lightly as you could to the classroom at the end of the dark hallway. You can see Ross sitting in the first row of desks, head thrown back as he snored away. He snaps to attention when the door opens and you step in. 

"I, uh...Bri-Mr. Wecht has a note for Ross," you say sheepishly. 

Everyone's eyes were on you. You'd seen some of these students before...they were kind of trash. You know, Leafy, Pewdiepie, Filthy Frank...you'd talked to them a few times and they were fun enough but you figured they worked more on shock value than anything else. They were nice for the most part. Then there was Arin and Michael Jones...you knew immediately that they must have rage quit hard enough to warrant a detention. Maybe they broke something. Arin groaned and pouted.

"He didn't even send a note for me this time," Arin grumbled.

"You're not in here every day, asshole," Ross shot back, glancing at you before looking back at Arin with a coy grin as he gathered his books. "Later, loser!"

You shrug and give Arin a shy smile as if to say "hey, man, it's out of my hands". Ross wraps an arm around your shoulder and waits for the classroom door to close before he starts laughing. His laugh, like everyone else's, was incredibly unique to him. 

"Brian's making you do his chores now? It's hardly been a week," he snorted, patting your back. 

"Ah...he was busy and I wasn't doing anything so-"

"Well, you know what? Let's go get some ice cream. You've earned it."

You smile a bit. Ross was a weird sort of charming. He constantly looked like he was smirking about something. Even with such a punchable face, he had a cuteness to him that words failed to help you describe. It was like hanging out with a version of The Joker who never killed anyone and just generally liked pissing people off with little annoyances. 

"So, Y/N! I don't think we were ever properly introduced. I know you've been busy. I'm Ross O'Donovan. Nice to meet ya."

"Likewise," you reply cheerfully, shaking his hand. 

"So?" Ross began, clapping his hands and rubbing them together. "What've you heard about me?"

"What have I...heard?"

"Come on, everyone talks about me."

You think long and hard. What have you heard about Ross O'Donovan? You've heard he might be a narcoleptic, that he can be a sadistic son of a bitch, he's Australian, his custom-made Mario Maker levels have been known to induce psychosis...shit, were you thinking for too long? Ross is laughing again. 

"They really tried to sabotage me, huh?"

"N-no, I just-"

"What'd Dan tell you? He talks about me a lot. Did he tell you that I'm the literal worst?"

You ponder whether you should tell the truth. You decide to be honest. Ross seemed way too smart to be fooled. You're not a very good liar, anyhow. 

"His exact words were 'don't talk to Ross, he's a fucking asshole piece of shit and I hate him'. And then he felt bad, so he followed that up with 'I mean, he's cool or whatever so if you talk to him, it's probably fine'. So...y'know."

You expect Ross to be hurt but he grins and nods as if he expected to hear nothing less. 

"He must've been feeling nice when you asked him about me, huh?"