How Could You

Chapter 32

All the lynchs have been cautious with me over the past couple days. Its been so hard to do my normal routines now. Like just brushing my hair is so complicated now. And Ross whole always have to stay in the bathroom when I shower, just in case.

R5 had band practise so I was by myself in Ross' room. I was getting really thirsty and I didn't have any water with me.

I sighed and got up slowly. I put my hands out in front of me to stop me from running into any walls. I made it to the door and I walked against the railing until I got to the stairs.

I walked slowly down and I made it to the kitchen. I grabbed a water bottle and some chips and headed back towards the stairs. I opened my bottle and took a little sip.

I guess I miss judged where the steps started and fell onto my face. The water spilled all over me and the chip bag exploded everywhere. Frustrated, I through the bag of chips, sat up and brought my knees to my chest, sobbing.

I heard the door open and a bunch of mumbles. " I'm going to go check on Lucy." I hear Ross say. I hear quick footsteps, but as they get closer, they get smaller. " Baby, oh my god what happened?"

I felt him grabbed my arms and pulled me up. I wrapped my arms around his neck as tight as possible. His arms snaked around my waist and held me tight. " I can't do this," I sob. " It's all to heard an- I just can't."

" Oh babe." Ross said holding me tighter. " It'll be okay, just a few more days, you can't do it, and I'll be here with you, it'll be fine."

" What is this?" Stormie asked walking into the living room. " I fell." I sniffed. I backed up a little, but still kept ahold of Ross. " Are you alright?" I could hear footsteps, meaning she was walking over.

I sighed " Yeah, thanks." I pulled at my soaking wet shit which was very uncomfortable. " Let's get you changed." Ross whispered. I nodded and turned around to head up the stairs.

Ross lifted me up bridle style and carried me. I didn't reject since it would've took me a little longer to get up.

He placed me down and slid my shirt off of me. The cold air sent shivers down my spine. " Cold?" He laughed. I nodded and smiled. I felt his hands go around me and gave me a little hug.

He rubbed my arms before he went to grab me a shirt. He came back and slid it over me. It felt big so I knew it was one of his. " I can take off my pants." I said sitting down and doing so.

I held out my hand waiting for comfy pants to be placed down, but that wasn't happening. Instead of pants, he gave me his hand. He pulled me up.

" Ross I need pants." I laugh. " You're beautiful." He whispered into my ear. " I'm not." I mumbled moving away from him.

" What do you mean you're not? You're the most gorgeous girl on this plant." Ross always told me I was beautiful, but I never believed it.

I heard him shuffling around and a familiar song playing. Ross grabbed me and pulled me close. He held me hand in his, and wrapped on around my waist; we started swaying to the music.

Every day is so wonderful
Then suddenly, it's hard to breath.
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed.
Mhhhmmm

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom.
Trying hard, to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone, left the puzzle undone.
Ain't that the way it is?

Ross started to sing to me, and I couldn't help my self, I let the tears fall, but I didn't want to show I was crying or I'd ruin this beautiful moment.

'Cause you are beautiful, no matter what you say,
Words can't bring you down,
You are beautiful, in every single way
Yes words can't bring you down
So don't let them bring you down today.

" Sing it." He demanded. I waited for the next part to come, my nerves were out of control, I don't find myself a good singer and I don't want Ross to hear me; I'm horrible.

Ross spun me before my part started. I took in a deep breath

" I am beautiful, not mater what they say
words can't bring me down.
I am beautiful in ever single way,
Yes words can't bring me down
So you can't bring me down today." I held the last note until Ross smashed his lips onto mine, taking me by surprise.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and his went to my waist. " Jump." He whispered against my lips. He held the back of my thighs and I jumped up and kept the kiss going. He held me against the wall, pushing me so I wouldn't fall.

I felt his tongue swipe across my bottom lip and I granted his access. We pulled back just a little to catch our breath. His lips soon feel back upon mine and I pulled on his hair, making him let out a little moan.

" That was hot." I giggled pulling back. " Then you'll like this." He smirked. I rolled my eyes as he dropped me onto his bed and watched him climb over me.

He got down closer to me, he kissed me once more. I pouted when he pulled away.
" You're beautiful." He whispered. I knew what he wanted me to say, " I'm beautiful." I replied. Ross smiled widely. " I'm beautiful." I whispered again to myself.

" That's my girl." He rolled to his side of the bed and stayed quite. I felt my anxiety kick in, I quickly reached over and grabbed Ross' hand the best I could with no sight.

" You okay babe?" He asked, in a slightly tired tone. " Yeah, I'm fine." I moved closer to him trying not to make it obvious. He laid his arm across my stomach and dug his head into my neck.

He kept kissing my neck making me laugh and squirmed around. " babe." I groan. "Mhhhhmmm." He hummed. I sighed and laid back. I started to run my hand up and down Ross' bareback.

He didn't say anything, but soon enough he was sound asleep, snoring lightly. I smiled and moved down further in his arms. I pecked his lips and whispered ' I love you.' I know he can't hear me, but it doesn't seem right not to say it to him.

But now that I'm all alone, I have time to think, and usually it's not good thoughts. If I don't fall asleep now, then I'll probably end up getting anxiety attack.

I took a couple deep breaths before trying to think about something good.

I ended up not sleeping and stayed up for hours. My eyes were stinging and about to drop any moment. I heard a little groan come from beside me and Ross started to turn. " Babe." His voice was raspy which was extremely sexy. " Yeah?" I whispered. " Why are you awake?" I felt his hand on the side of me, since I was laying on my side.

" I can't fall asleep." I huff. " Want me to rub your back?" He knew me so well. " Please?" He laughed and I turned onto my stomach. His hands started rubbing my back and he began humming a soft tone.

" Goodnight." He whispered.

******
( btw I changed some of the lyrics to make it fit.)