Divergent High

Chapter 42- The Promise

Tris' POV:

I'm angry.

I'm sad.

I'm confused.

I'm crushed.

I'm done for.

All at the same time.

I just want to cry and throw things at the wall.

Its sort of weird, the way I feel. I have so many emotions inside, but I'm feeling nothing at all. I'm empty and my whole self is a hollow can and there is a slight chance of fading away, but I as well feel like there are too many thoughts in my hollow head I might explode.

What am I doing? I should be with him, my love. I should be holding his hand and telling him of the memories we used to share. I should be filling his brain with the good times of us. The only think wrong with that confrontation is that he doesn't know me.

He doesn't know me.

He doesn't know me.

That sentence repeats in my head over and over again.

He doesn't remember anything connected to us, or our adventures. He is my everything and I'm not even in his mind.

I have no honest to God idea on what to do.

I'm so mad, but yet so soft. Mad at Lauren for causing this to happen, mad at the universe for making his brain change his thought. Soft and caring for him himself, the one who it's all about. The one lying in that hospital bed trying to figure things out on his own when he can't.

I scream and pull my hands through my hair.

People passing by in the small hospital hallway, look at me strangely. They stare at me with worried eyes, some intense stares in which they are hoping to see right through my skin and bones.

I get up, a few of them backing away, as if to prove they are scared, a fact that I don't care about and do not need to know.

As soon as I know it, I'm in his room, smiling at him as he sleeps so perfectly. When I sit in a chair fifteen feet away or so, I sigh and look around me.

The smell and the look of the place are the same, as the last time I mean. The last time I was in the hospital. Mason and Four. Same concept, same branch of help, fighting for me. Fighting to be my one and only.

And now he's forgotten all about me. I'm nothing to him. Nothing but a stranger.

Even though I'm on the other side of the room, I speak to him.

"Four. I know you don't remember, and I get that. But just remember that I'm not stopping. You don't know me and I know you. You don't love me but I love you, and I'm considered no one to you, when you are considered everything to me. I love you more than anything in this world and I'm not giving up. I'm going to fight for us, fight for what we had- have. I will be here for you, even when you cannot comprehend what's wrong. I love you Tobias Eaton, and that's forever."

He shakes and stirs a little at that last part and a look comes across his face I can't decipher, but he goes back to his rest.

I sigh, assuming its nothing, and proceed to stand up from my seat to head out the door and home.

I grab all my things, which isn't a lot keeping in mind I might be in depression or some shit, and scurry out on my way.

My mind still can't feel any of this. I am still not okay. I'm broken and I have no clue how long it will carry on.