I hadn't laughed like this since I was a kid and it was really in this moment that I felt it.... I was able to separate my feelings after our first time and I wasn't sure what I was feeling, I mean I liked him but I wasn't sure if I loved him... but now I was sure. We were having a snowball fight, the temperature was in the single digits, I could barely feel my fingers or face and yet the pure joy on Rú's face as he smacked Jaire with a snowball, it warmed my entire body, he was like his joy was all I cared about... that playful smile on his face as Jaire, Samson, Niño, and Halo chased after him.... I just.... I felt it, I had said it in the past but now I really felt it and it was stronger than anything I had ever felt before. So why did it scare me? Maybe it was because now I had something to lose.... and with the car sitting at the end of the street, the same car that had been there since last night.... I didn't think Cash would do anything to me, despite his flaws my brother loved me.... but Cash wasn't thinking rationally, our last conversation proved that and maybe he felt like Rú was a distraction.... I was overthinking things, Cash wasn't crazy, I just needed to continue doing what I've been doing and hopefully he found some sense. Rú ran over to me and hid behind me as Jaire and the rest of them finally caught up, I don't know why he thought hiding behind me would help but I was prepared to protect him if need be.
"Aight y'all got it...." Rú admitted in defeat, he obviously wasn't trying to get assaulted with the snowballs and saw he was fighting a losing battle. "Can we go inside because it's cold as fu...." Rú stopped and looked at Halo (who seemed to think Rú was this superhero), Rú caught himself and turned to me. "It's cold out here and I'm hungry." He said.
"Yeah, let's go inside...." Jaire said and I noticed him glance in the direction where Cash's rental was parked and shook his head. While they started walking in the house, I fell back and waited. Once everyone but Jaire was inside he turned to me and shook his head. "Should I go say something to him?"
"Nah... Cash made his decision. He left to find himself, he can't come back and start crashing out because we moved on without him.... Go inside, I'll go talk to him." I said and Jaire seemed ready to argue but he knew there was nothing he could say that would make me change my mind. Jaire walked inside and I started walking down the street, once I reached the rental Cash unlocked the car and I got in the passenger seat.
"Y'all seem like y'all were having fun." Cash said rolling his eyes, I couldn't imagine being so bitter that seeing other people having fun pisses you off... but that just goes to show what kind of space my brother was in right now.
"Yeah, we like having fun... no drama, just fun.... Why are you here Kolby?" I asked not wanting to beat around the bush.
"Just wanted to make sure you were taken care of... Jaire made it clear that he's moved on and I didn't want to approach y'all so I'm respecting his wishes and keeping my distance. But if he thinks for one second that I'm not going to check in on my little brother....." Cash started. "Are you being taken care of?" He asked and surprisingly, he sounded genuinely concerned.
"I'm good... I got clothes on my back, food in my stomach, and a roof over my head. Jaire is planning on taking me to look at colleges in a couple weeks and I'm actually looking forward to graduating.... I'm good Kolby, you don't have to worry. You can continue living your life without having the burden of looking after your kid brother anymore." I said and I could tell my words stung, but I remember him wanting the freedom he didn't have when our parents died so I didn't see a point in forcing him to look after me.... I was good.
"Lil Thug seems extremely protective...." Kolby said suddenly and I looked through the mirror and saw Rú standing on the porch watching and waiting. "I still think he's a little too dangerous for you but that could only be because I don't know him like that... when can I meet him?" Kolby asked adn I felt my mouth go dry.... it wasn't like I was hiding Rú, hell Rú wasn't the type to hide... he had no problem showing his love in public.... I think where my fear was coming from was I didn't trust Cash to behave himself around Rú.
