Heart Halo ( Student / Teacher Romance )

Chapter Five. Mean.

HAPPY ALMOST FOURTH OF JULY!!

I know it's just the 2nd, but that's okay.

Get out and enjoy the fireworks, parades, and get your face painted!! It's really awesome!

But be safe. Don't run out in the middle of the street during a parade. People tend to frown on that.(I'm speaking from experience)

ANYWAY....

Chapter Five. Mean.

I heard a door slam, waking me up from my curled up position on the floor. Listening, I waited for any other kind of noise, but there was only the sound of a car starting. Knowing that mom's car was in the shop for a motor tune up, and Dave didn't have one, I could only assume it was Mr. Hart. But I shouldn't be able to hear him...

His house was a half a mile away.

Up hill.

Maybe I'm just hearing things? I said to myself.

Maybe your losing it. Just get your ass up and ready for school. My voice snapped.

I opened my eyes and breathed deep, surprised not only by the scent of apple cinnamon, but by the lack of pain I felt. I shifted into a sitting position, silently praying against any pain. When I was sitting up straight with my legs stretched out in front of me, I unwrapped my towel and looked down at my body in surprise.

The bruises that littered my body not three hours earlier were yellow and green as though they were a week old.

The cuts on my legs were nearly healed, leaving only small silver scars that gleamed with the sun hit them just right.

The three broken ribs were now healed and my insides didn't feel like they were ripping apart.

 Even though I have always healed fast, it should have taken longer than four hours. Usually, after a beating like last night, it takes me almost a full day before I am completely healed. 

Shrugging it off, I clamored to my feet and grabbed my towel, reveling in the lack of pain.

This morning, I decided as I walked over to my bed, I'm not going to eat breakfast here.

Aaahhhh. And what exactly would you get at school? Huh? Oatmeal that looks like vomit, or cereal that you don't like? My voice cooed.

Oh, shut up. Its better than staying here. I snapped, picking up my clothes that Dave tore.

Placing them in the dirty cloths hamper, I walked over to my closet and picked out a light green fitted shirt, and another pair of comfortable jeans. Slipping on my socks and grey tennis shoes, I walked into the bathroom, and picked up one of my favorite brushes.

"Someday, I'll be living in a big old city and all you're ever going to be is mean. Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me, and all you're ever going to be is mean. Why you gotta be so mean?" I sang quietly to myself, combing the brush through my hair.

Looking at my reflection in the mirror, my eyes were still tinged with red, but they seemed feral. Predator like.

It's me, starting to shine through. My voice said quietly.

Do what? I questioned. It's you?

Silence.

You know, that's really starting to get annoying. I said, irritated.

Putting on a little eyeliner and mascara, I left my hair down although I would probably sit on it a dozen times today.

"You, with your switching sides and your wildfire lies and your humiliation. You, have poited out my flaws again, as if I don't already see them. I walk with my head down, trying to block you out cause I'll never impress you. I just wanna feel okay again. I bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold. But the cycle ends right now cause you can't lead me down that road." I continued to sing "Mean by Taylor Swift" as I walked out of the bathroom, grabbing my black jacket off of the door handle. As I was putting my jacket on, I looked at my alarm clock. 

It was 5:30 am.

Okay... I thought to myself. I have two options. I could either stay here for another hour, or I can just stop at a coffee shop a few blocks past the school and have breakfast.

Hmmmmm.....

Feeling like a ninja, I walked as silently as I could down the stairs, and paused as my mother waited for me with a piece of notebook paper with my name scribbled on it, on the last step. Opening it up, two hundred dollars fell out.

I didn't even read the note.

My mother.

No other words could describe her. She wasn't my best friend, my protector, or even a mother really.  When Dave started raping me five years ago, Mom started paying me money to not tell anyone. What kind of mother does that? Pays her daughter to be quiet? I remember the first time she gave me money. She told me it was for being a good girl, and not crying. But I grew up, and started seeing my mother for what she really was.

She is beautiful.  Life had treated her well. She had only a few wrinkles around her eyes, but she had long black hair that shimmered in the light, with big green eyes that were looking at me in what I assumed she thought was love. She was short, barely passing my chest, but she was beautiful.

Tears started to gather in my eyes as I thought about my life. If my mother, the one person who is suppose to love me unconditionally,  won't protect me, does that mean she doesn't love me? Am I that much like my father that she lets me be raped by the man she "loves"?

Mother was wearing a simple blue silk bathrobe, and her feet were bare. She hadn't put any makeup on, but that only made her look better.

Raising a hand up to my face, she cupped my cheek, and opened her mouth to speak.

Before she could utter a word, the tears I had been holding back rolled down my face, hitting her hand. But I remained silent.

I didn't sob at her feet because she wouldn't listen.

I didn't beg her to leave him because she "needed him".

I only stared at my mother  with my tear stained face.

She didn't meet my eyes, only bent down to pick up the money that had fallen and place it in my hand.

I snapped.

Laughing hysterically, I brushed passed her and quickly opened the front door. The cold January air bit into my face, but I simply smiled.

It had snowed last night. 

I wonder if the snow is colder than my mothers heart, I thought as I put the blood money in my jacket pocket.  Closing the door behind me, I carefully walked over the ice that was frozen on the porch on to the salted sidewalk. Glancing up at the dark sky, there were no signs of the sun making any kind of appearance soon. In fact, the stars were still out. Pulling my jacket tighter around my body, I began to walk at a steady pace towards the coffee shop.

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Alright. I know it's not very exciting but I had writers block. And it sucked. Plus the fourth of July parade lasted forever. But I hope you enjoyed it!!

 With Love,

Airekia ♥