Day By Day; MYG

38

While Yoongi stayed downstairs, talking with Namjoon, Y/N went upstairs to her room to change and put her jackets away. Once she was alone in her room, Y/N let out a deep sigh, blinking rapidly to try and hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. With a shaking hand, she slowly pulled the rest of her clothes off, tossing them to the floor. She slowly pulled on a tank top and sleep shorts. She threw Yoongi's shirt on over her clothes, burying her nose in the collar. The truth is Jieun's mother's remarks did get to her. Putting Jieun's personality aside, Y/N could see how Yoongi and Jieun could look good together. Even if it wasn't Jieun, Y/N could see how someone else would look good standing next to him as his Luna. She did not see herself as the picture of health or beauty and while she was making steady progress, it was frustrating not to know how long it'd take for her to get one hundred percent better. Her looks aside though, Y/N's has no idea how she'll be at events Yoongi may need to take her to. Remembering the near panic attack she had in front of the entire pack during her first introduction to them, it makes her wonder how she's going to act in front of important pack officials and other head Alphas.

She didn't tell Yoongi because their presence bothers him enough and she didn't want to burden him with what were trivial thoughts, or at least that's what she tried to convince herself. She slowly trudged over to her nest, pushing a book to the side so she could lie on Yoongi's side as she curled up in a ball, covering herself with her thickest, weighted blanket she could get her hands on. Y/N didn't want to let this get to her especially after all the time she's spent with Yoongi, she just can't help it. Y/N knows Yoongi loves her, but after years of being constantly degraded by others in a higher power, it became easy to take some of those comments to heart. She wasn't sure what to do. On one hand, Yoongi always makes Y/N feel better, no matter how low she feels, but on the other hand, if she went to him even for something as simple as a hug, he'd know something was wrong and Yoongi's been so stressed after they'd seen Jieun today. He'd finally seemed to relax when they'd gotten home. She didn't want to ruin that.

Y/N was pulled out of her thoughts when there was a soft knock at her door. "Just a second," Y/N called out, going over to her sink, splashing water over her face, hoping to get rid of the redness that had formed around her eyes. Y/N dried her face before trudging over to the door. She slowly opened the door, looking up only to be met with Jeongguk.

"Hey, I came to see how you were doing after meeting Jieun officially, and by the looks of it I'd say not so good," he said as he leaned down slightly to get a closer look at my face and she couldn't help but turn away slightly from his gaze.

"No, I'm fine. I just got some soap in my eyes while I was washing my face," Y/N lied. It was a bad lie, but she hoped it'd be enough to get Jeongguk off her back. It was not.

"Come on Y/N, you're a horrible liar, so tell me what happened." Y/N sighed, opening the door wider so Jeongguk could come in before closing the door again behind them. Jeongguk walked into Y/N's room, sitting on the edge of her bed, while Y/N crawled to the center of her bed. "So what did Jieun say to you?"

"It's not what Jieun said, she didn't say anything to me, it's what her mother said... She basically went on about how I wasn't good enough for Yoongi and that Jieun is the better choice, among other things," Y/N mumbled, grabbing one of her pillows to rest in her lap.

"And you believed her?"

"I tried not to, really. I just couldn't help it... I mean look at her. If you put her personality aside she looks great next to Yoongi and if not her I'm sure some other Alpha would, or even a different Omega or a Beta. She grew up with this life so she knows what to do when it comes to being a Luna or going to all those events, I don't. I mean look at me, I look like a... like a sickly stick, I came from one of the lowest-ranked families in my pack, then was a rogue for most of my life, then was kidnapped into servitude. I'm surprised Yoongi even wants me most of the time. Who would want that as their Luna when they could have someone who was raised into that role?" Y/N questioned, laying out her doubts.