I imagine myself lying in the grass with my head sunk in a white pillow, lightly stained by the soil I hold beneath my heavy body. I'm in a forest. I can see the pines surrounding me and reaching for the sky. Breathtaking. I'm in a night gown.I can tell it's silk. Bare shoulders,bare feet and a hand that holds tightly the corner of a cold pillow. It's freezing. My hair it's in a loose bun, waiting for the last movement to release him entirely. And I just lie there,for hours.
And in all that cold, in all that loneliness and peaceful silence, I feel like I'm free again. Free from stress, free from people, free from the pressure and standards that limited myself, free from all those complicated and twisted emotions that I just could not untagle, and most importantly free from the lost version of myself. Everything is clear and everything is simple. No reckless wind blows through me and no senseless whisper enters my ears.
Cold heart. Can't feel. Sometimes all I want is just that:
to not feel and nothing damaging entering my system.
Impenetrable.
