I got older today.
I was so fucking tired and stressed that I couldn't even please the people around me. I didn't know how to handle everyone, that's why I didn't want anything planned. I just wanted to stay in, by myself and well, chill.
I do want the people that are dearest to me next to me , but not today. Not today when I was basically celebrating the time flying by and me not being able to do anything about it. All I can do is make it worth it , so for all the other days , the normal ones, when I celebrate living, yes, I want them close.
I know I am much of a loner. I got used to being alone and I got comfortable with that. For a long time I didn't have so many people to care about and to take care of. I am sorry for not wanting you with me today because I was afraid of the fact that I didn't know how to take care of you all. And truth-be-told , I was right . It wasn't the biggest mess, because you knew how to take care of each other.
But I was.
So I'm sorry for not knowing yet how to split my heart in order to give a piece to each and every one of you. Thank you for being there , even when I said I didn't want you there. Thank you for trying.
