Life After Rehab ✓

[Chapter Thirty] Where Two Brothers Try Again

Chapter Thirty – Where Two Brothers Try Again
Julian's Pov

The kind of but not sex tape was out there and it was gaining a lot of attention right now and I wish it wasn't, there's no use hiding from what I've done but I didn't want her to see it, I didn't want to make this harder on her than it already was but like always, I just ruined her life.

I started seeing Robert again three days a week to start. I didn't realize until now just how far downhill I had ended up going; how much progress I had lost.

In rehab it was all about honesty and when I got out it seemed like all I did was lie; to my family, to Bailey and to myself and that wasn't fair to anyone and it wasn't fair to me either. I should have been better and after a week with Robert, I didn't blame her for leaving me.

I was pretty awful to her and I didn't realize how lucky I was that she stayed with me through it all until now and I kept having to tell myself not to dwell, that I need to work on myself right now.

"I think you need to make amends, starting with your brother." Robert's words echoed in my head the last couple days and as I sat outside the restaurant I contemplated if this was the right thing to do, right as I was about to leave I remembered that I got my life in this mess by not valuing other people's opinions.

If I would have listened to Lucca and Nia, Robert, Bailey, Kylie, My mom or really anyone I would be in a better place in life. Deep down I really do want to fix my relationship with Carter, we never had a good one, ever. We always hated each other and I would like to change that, to be better and not let our father tear us apart anymore.

Carter was right, that bastard was the one who hurt us; who hurt Sarah. He was the one that did what he did and while Carter screwed up, I shouldn't have put the blame on him simply because he was still alive because that's not fair.

I decided that maybe it was time to start owning up to my own mistakes and growing up, he was dead and it was time to move on; to put him and Sarah and Mia behind us. Mia was my sister as much as my Niece and it didn't hit me until now that Carter was all I had left.

Lacey was gone, Mia was gone and Sarah was gone and if we don't do better then I'm going to lose the only sibling I have left and I can't live with that regret, it's paralyzing.

I got out and went inside and he was sitting at the bar with a glass of whisky, I just sat there for a minute and watched him, he tilted the glass side to side, took a sip and put it back down before tilting it around some more until he got up and dumped it out.

"I didn't think you would come." He spoke first

"Neither did I." we weren't talking loud, the place was closed; but it felt like we were yelling across the room at each other.

"Why are you here? Do we need to fight again, is once a week not enough?" he looked tired and I didn't blame him.

"Robert suggested I make amends with people, I didn't do it six months ago and after throwing away my year sobriety and relationship he thought this would be a good time." I wish I appreciated it more, the one year coin I had gotten from remaining sober, I still have it but I know I don't deserve it and I had a plan for it that I hoped would work.

"At least you made it to a year; I on the other hand can only make it two months." He looked down at the empty cup and I didn't know he was struggling with this.

"You're an alcoholic?" I asked and he nodded

"Yeah and Danielle isn't going to put up with it forever." He looked back at the bottles that lined the shelfs behind the bar and then turned and put his glass on a tray to wash it, I understood the longing when he looked at them because I felt it too.