Life After Rehab ✓

[Chapter Thirty-Five] Where Murder Is No Secret

So I started posting some diary entries from Lacey's Pov on theprose.com under CMB, links on my profile if you guys want to follow on there and read them, i'm not going to be doing them in a whole book, just on there. 

Chapter Thirty-Five – Where Murder Is No Secret
Julian's Pov

Nothing could ever just go right or even decent and for that my family was now paying the price and I hated that they were, this wasn't anyone's business and now they're all being dragged into hell because of me. Not for the first time I thought about walking away from it all; the music, movies, fame.

I had Bailey for a couple days and she snuck out as soon as light hit and I was heartbroken to see her leave like that but I didn't say anything, she thought I was asleep.

After everything else that's been going on this was really the last thing that I needed or that my family needed, it was none of anyone's business but they were going to make it theirs and that infuriated me.

My mother spent all day crying, he made our lives hell and even from the grave he was still fucking with us. I don't know how they found out but they did and now my family was paying for who I was. My mother had her trial, it was ruled self-defense.

It was her or him and I'm glad that she killed him, my mother deserved a life and after what he did, how he ruined all of ours, I didn't think he did especially over her. Everyone thought of my dad as a saint and were painting my mother as a murderer and trying to build him up while tearing her down.

They wanted to know how it was justified, they thought it was their right to know and it wasn't. I had the feeling I got whenever my father was around or worse, when he was drunk. It was the feeling of being so small and pushed around, of being bullied and having the control taken from your life and it was bullshit that people were allowed to do that, I was tired of it.

Why is my personal and horrifying past any ones fucking business, it took a lot to open up to Bailey about that and now someone found out and thinks that the world deserves to know? Who are they to post that shit, to share that?

I bet they have parts of their lives they don't want anyone knowing about but do they have to suffer like this? No, they get paid to be bullies and exploit everyone's weaknesses.

No, there was no record of abuse. Want to know why? Because my father was a fucking doctor and stitched us up himself when needed, as painfully as possible. We never said anything, Kylie didn't even know about most of it because we kept it in hell. That place wasn't a home and it was barely a house, it was in fact hell.

As the days went on it all just got worse when they got a hold of Sarah and then Mia.

They were saying that my mother was the one to hurt them both, that she killed my dad to protect that. She cried herself to sleep only to wake back up and cry some more, she kept telling me this wasn't my fault but it was, I was once again the reason for her pain and suffering and I was sick of it.

No matter how I tried or how hard I worked to be better it didn't matter, I was doomed to be miserable, I was never going to get a new start in life.

I started drinking and using for a reason and this right here was it, I thought with him dead that it would change everything but even from the grave he's ruining or lives still, only this time it's public.

He got to ruin us privately and get away with it and now that it's out, of course he would be dead to dodge all of this bullshit we had to go through.

Robert spent a lot of time at the house and I'm not sure if it was to keep an eye on me or my mother and if that watching eye was personal or clinical, I think it was a mix of it all with Kylie thrown in too.