Life After Rehab ✓

[Chapter Thirty-Four] Where She Contemplates Life

Chapter Thirty-Four – Where She Contemplates Life
Bailey's Pov

When I went back in the bedroom he looked surprised to see me

"What?" I asked him

"I thought you left." he stared at me, it was a little weird, Just because we broke up it didn't mean that I didn't love him and even though we weren't together, I fell more in love with him last night when he stopped me.

In any state of mind I was incredibly attracted to him and I did want to sleep with him, but he was right, if I didn't trust him to marry him then I shouldn't be offering myself up like I was last night.

"I made breakfast." I held out his plate and he took it slowly.

"You made food." He said slowly and I didn't know what else to do so I just kind of nodded and this was a kind of awkward moment for some reason, it was like we just met at a bar, had a one night stand and now he's wondering why I'm still in his apartment.

"Did you not want me to be here?" maybe I just got that part wrong and he wanted me to leave

"Oh no! I'm glad you're here, I just woke up and you weren't here and I thought you ditched out. Not in a bad way or anything, but why are you still here?" he asked me and I sat down on the edge of the bed with my plate in my lap

"Honestly, I didn't want to leave yet. I miss you and not just because you made yesterday better, but because I miss you every day." I wasn't going to lie to him, not when I wasn't sure this was really what I wanted.

"Do you want to get back together?" he asked

"Maybe but I'm not ready for that right now, it's been a couple months but it still hurts and I'm not in a good place right now, obviously and everything would go back to how it was before and that's not fair to either of us." I knew I was right.

Did I want to work things out? Yes.

Could we? I don't know.

I don't know who we really are anymore and just because two people love each other doesn't mean they should be together.

"What can I do?" he asked me and I shrugged

"Give me time. I need time and so do you."

"Are you still seeing Robert?" he asked me and I nodded

"Yeah, twice a week." He helped so much.

"Me too, I'll tell him it's okay to discuss what we talk about with you."

"It's your personal sessions Julian; I don't want you to feel like you need to hold back or anything." It wasn't necessary.

"I want to show you that I don't have any secrets from you. I trust you and if there's something Robert feels is important or you want to ask him I want you to know." He put the plates aside and pulled me into his lap and I had my knee on either side of his legs and he was so damn close I could just lean forward and- I leaned in and I placed my lips on his and he relaxed as he kissed me back.

The way he kissed me always drove me insane, he knew exactly what he was doing and I like to think he taught me well on that, I don't know if kissing anyone else would ever be the same.

"Is it okay if I stay a little longer today?" I asked and he nodded

"You can stay forever if you want, there's a reason I didn't change the locks." I wish we could just put ourselves out there at the same time, when I do he shuts me out and when he does it's at a time like this and I'm just not ready to forgive what he did.