Clandestine {Loki Fanfic}

Six

In the following few weeks Megan fell into a comfortable routine, taking care of her chores and spending the rest of her time in her room when Loki was there unless he needed something. Her bruises healed, and keeping her mind still was now second nature, requiring almost no thought. It was actually quite pleasant and the rest began to settle as well, she felt calm not only on the surface, but beneath it. Loki had not approached her again except for her duties, and although it was at odds with her mission, Megan relished the little bit of freedom where she didn't have to worry about anything else, and her fear of Loki had faded almost completely.

"Can we talk, Megan?" He said late one night, offering her a drink and a spot on the couch in front of the fire. Megan accepted the glass and sank down into the soft dark leather, feeling the warmth of the smouldering embers on her knees and face. "I want you to ask me some questions. Anything you like."

Megan looked to his face, glowing orange in the flickering light from the fire, searching for some sort of meaning or motive behind his words. He was trying to be more open with her and it showed on his face, it was relaxed and he even had a hint of a smile on his lips, his icy blue eyes looking in to hers.

"Um, ok. Why me? Why did you insist on taking me from Fandral?"

"I told you, you fascinate me. I do not understand why my abilities have little effect on you, why your mind is closed to me. I need to know. And the way you carry yourself, your confidence, my first impression was that you are a servant who needs to learn her place. Honestly my first thought was to break you, as it always is, but when I momentarily took away that confidence, saw the fear that I brought to your eyes that evening... I do not want that anymore. I guess I still want to know what makes you tick, but I do not necessarily want to pull you apart to find out."

Megan was shocked. She was fairly sure that was the most honest thing he had ever said to her, and fairly sure it was all true.

"I can honestly tell you I don't know why I see through you. I actually don't understand why everyone else can't. Can I ask what happened to Odin?"

Megan immediately regretted asking, knowing she had again overstepped. Of course he wasn't going to tell her, and she guessed there was some sort of punishment coming for her invasive question. Loki's face hardened, his eyes narrowed and she saw his fists clench. Mentally she braced for some sort of impact.

"You can ask." he forced through gritted teeth. "But I will not tell you. I do not want to talk about that."

"I shouldn't have asked that, I'm sorry. Do you plan on releasing Thor?"

Megan almost jumped out of her chair when she heard him laugh softly, it was so unexpected it was almost comical.

"You do not back down from a fight, do you? I will release him eventually, I suppose I should return the favour. Not yet, though. Not until I can be sure that all of Asgard knows that I am the rightful king and I will not be undermined by that oaf. He can go and rot in Midgard with his precious Jane as he so desires."

Silence hung in the air like a fog, settling over the room like a soft blanket. After what felt like hours, Loki spoke, snapping Megan out of her own thoughts.

"Anything else?"

"No, my king. Thank you for being honest with me, it tells me a great deal about you."

"Well then I would like you to be honest with me."

Walked right in to that one, Beckett. Here it comes.

"Of course." He paused for so long that Megan wondered if he hoped she would just spill out all of her secrets, she was almost afraid to sip her drink in case the act of opening her mouth would set off an unstoppable river of truths.

"You are purposefully blocking my attempts to read you." It wasn't a question, and yet she was still expected to answer.

"In a way, yes. I have learned to keep my mind still, and I know if I hold on to that it is apparently like looking in to a glass of clear water. You don't see the water, only the bottom of the glass, just as you can see my mind, but not what's happening in it. As for the illusions, I have absolutely no idea why I can see through them. They're not something I've encountered often, but I see some sort of 'tell' when someone is using magic or telepathy. With the snake I saw it surrounded by a green light, and that's when I knew it wasn't real."

"You deceive me by hiding your thoughts." he said quietly.

"Would we have the capacity to think without speaking aloud if our thoughts were not intended to be private?"

"Part of me wants to beat you into submission, to break you and force you open up to me and let me see inside." Megan was momentarily stunned by the softness of his voice contrasted with his harsh words, she looked down into her lap and said nothing. "But perhaps you are having an effect on me, Megan. We will try this your way. If I gain your trust, if I am honest with you... will you be honest with me?"

She met his stare, his softened expression only betrayed by his penetrating blue eyes. If not for that she would have sworn someone else had taken over his body. "Yes. I will, Loki."

"Very well. I would like to alter our arrangement, if you agree to the terms. The thought occurs that you are capable of much more than picking up after me, your talents are wasted here. I would like you to be more of an assistant, an advisor, a companion. You seem to know far more about people than I do, and you think I'm doing such a terrible job as king... perhaps you could help me do better."

Megan's brain hadn't caught up to the last sentence yet, she was hung up on one word. Companion. Did he really just say that? Does that mean what I think it means? I can't do that. I won't.

"Megan?"

"Ah, sorry. Um. Firstly, I never said you were doing a terrible job as king-"

"I challenge you to find one person in the entire realm who doesn't think I'm doing a terrible job. You might not have said it in so many words, but you certainly feel that way. Am I wrong?"

"No. You're not wrong at all. I will freely give you my opinion, but please know I know nothing about what you do. And secondly-"

"You know about respect and trust and those are two things I have a problem with."

"Ok. Secondly, what do you mean by companion?"

"Oh, my dear, I do not mean for you to share my bed if that's what you're thinking."

"Then I accept."