Clandestine {Loki Fanfic}

Twelve

Megan opened her eyes gingerly. The harsh light of the cells was gone, replaced with a much more familiar environment. The lights were dimmed, she could hear soft distant voices and shoes shuffling quietly on a tiled floor. And she was warm, so lovely and warm, tucked under blankets and somewhat clothed. Hearing the sound of a page turning next to her she turned her head, focusing her eyes on the man sitting next to her.

"Coulson?"

"Megan, thank god. Grace, she's awake!" He called in to the hall before turning back to Megan. "How are you feeling?"

"Uh, I don't know. Weird. Where am I?"

"In the medical ward at HQ. Fandral sent you back. Just in time, by the state of you. Dr Cho has patched you up, more than once actually, and you should recover completely in a few weeks. She couldn't repair that many burns in one session so some might leave some scarring. You can stay here as long as you need to."

"I did that to myself, Phil." Megan realised tears were flowing down her cheeks. She remembered everything that had happened, everything she had done, and she remembered wanting to do it, but not why. Megan Beckett didn't give up that easily, and yet the total despair she had felt had completely overtaken her. "But I don't understand why."

He put his hand over hers and squeezed gently. "I know you did, Fandral told us everything. It's entirely plausible that Loki made you do it. You're safe now. He tried to heal you himself, and when he couldn't he took you to the healers in the palace. As soon as he left you were brought back here and they told him they couldn't save you."

"He thinks I'm dead?"

"Yes."

A woman around Megan's age entered the room, and Megan thought she looked vaguely familiar.

"I'm Grace, Megan. I've been assisting Dr Cho. How are you feeling?"

"OK I think? Sort of weak. But better than when I got here I guess."

"You'll be weak for some time, you lost a lot of weight. You'll need to eat and exercise to get your strength back. Are you in any pain?"

"Nothing major."

"You don't need to be a hero, Megan. Just be honest if you're uncomfortable."

"I will, honestly it's nothing. I'll let you know."

When she was strong enough to be released, Grace took her to a spare quarters to finish her recovery before she returned home. "This was actually mine, but I've moved."

"Like moved out?"

"Um, no. Moved in, actually. With Steve. Down the hall." Megan saw Grace blush.

"Steve... Rogers? You moved in with... why? Oh! I'd heard he was dating someone. Wow!"

Grace giggled as she opened the door. "This is yours for as long as you need it, ok? Until you're ok to go home. Are you going back to New York?"

"I don't know. Can I tell you something?" Grace nodded and they both sat down. "I uh... Loki... he offered to send me back. After he had hurt me, before we... before he found out who I was. And I refused. I wanted to stay, with him."

"To finish the mission?"

"No. More than that. I had feelings for him. I slept with him. By choice."

"You realise he probably had you under his control the whole time?"

"No, he didn't. I can see now that didn't happen until I started to weaken and lose control of my mind, and then he took over. What I felt was real, I was actually falling for him. Grace, he was so gentle, so tender and kind. Until he wasn't. And that was only because he felt betrayed. I lied to him. If I hadn't..."