Clandestine {Loki Fanfic}

Seventeen

"What happened last night?"

"It is done, Thor. I do not want to speak any more about it."

"Shall I go and ask Megan, then?"

"You wouldn't dare."

"I will have to if you are going to be in this mood forever. We will not have a palace to rule from!"

"I will fix it. I said I will fix it."

"And Megan?"

"It is done. Leave it alone. Where are you going?"

"To see Jane and give you some space. I will return tomorrow."

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"We really need to teach you about subtlety, Thor. Have you considered arriving quietly?"

"Rogers, I don't have time for banter. Where is Megan?"

"In the lounge. Come in, I'll let her know you're here. Like she won't know already."

Megan stood up when she saw Thor, she had suspected the racket outside might be his doing.

"Megan, what happened?"

"Loki didn't tell you?"

"No. Only that he won't see you again."

Megan nodded sadly. "Everything was so beautiful last night. And then... I was in his mind, and I felt his feelings. His love, but his guilt. It's consuming him, Thor."

"I know. I had hoped that spending more time with you, and you trusting him, would help. He believes he is unworthy of you."

"And I don't care if he is or he isn't. I love him. If I come back with you, will he see me?"

"I think you're fairly persuasive." Thor winked.

In Asgard it was late, and Megan stood outside Loki's door for a few moments, wondering if he already knew she was there. That question was answered when she knocked softly on the door and it opened, Loki had been standing behind it the whole time.

"You saw me,"

"I see you everywhere, love. You are like the brightest star in the sky. You should not be here."

"I think I should. May I come in?"

He gestured her inside and closed the door, sitting down in front of the fire.

"Loki. What I saw-"

"I should never have allowed that."

"But it gave me an insight into your feelings. You don't need to replay that, I have forgiven you. Why can you not forgive yourself?"

"Would you? Forgive yourself? If you hurt me like that?"

"OK, that's fair. But it's consuming you, Loki, and you're letting it. I saw hope and happiness in you, and it's being eaten away by despair. What will it take for you to see that I forgive you? And... I love you."

He looked wounded, and it was not the reaction Megan had hoped for.

"How can I love you if I can't touch you?"

"Is that what this is about? I was in shock, I had no idea your feelings would be so overwhelming. And I thought physical contact would make it come back. Will it?"

"No. If I wanted you to feel it I could make that happen in another realm. Holding your hands just helped you make the connection. And I got to hold your hands."