Clandestine {Loki Fanfic}

Thirteen

"I can't condone this, Megan. I think it's a terrible idea."

"I'm afraid I agree with Grace, he is far too unpredictable. We can't protect you in Asgard."

"Yes, Phil, I realise that. And you two were both almost killed by him so I-"

"Was killed. He literally killed me."

"And I understand. But people change, we know that."

"He's not people."

"I'm not moving there permanently, I'm going to visit. Thor says he's doing much better, and it's too big a risk having people there that know I'm alive. If he finds out..."

"He'll probably start killing people again," Grace finished. "Starting with you."

"I appreciate your concern. Honestly. But I'm going as soon as I have the all clear."

"You're as fit as you were when you left. Perhaps even stronger. But I'm not clearing you."

"Come on, Grace. Don't make me go to Helen."

"Argh. Fine. But if you come back injured..."

"You can yell at me. I'll be careful. I'm going tomorrow."

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"Why are you knocking on my door before breakfast, Thor?"

"I have someone to see you. You're going to want to sit down. I'll leave you to catch up."

He walked out and left the door open, and just as Loki was getting annoyed at the cold air blowing in he felt as though a tornado had just come through the door.

Megan stood in front of him, smiling shyly. She was wearing the emerald green dress, the one he had given her, and had left her hair loose. It had blown around her face and she tucked the stray strands behind her ear as she stepped through the door.

"No," he breathed.

"Hello, Loki."

"Megan... they told me you were..."

"I know. If you sit down I can explain."

Megan could see Loki's hands clenching so hard she thought he might draw blood. She resisted reaching out and rubbing them to make him relax. He sat down on the couch and she sat next to him, close enough to reach out to him but with a respectful space between them.

"I'm so sorry, Loki. I know this must be a huge shock. I had to leave. Actually I didn't have a say, Fandral got me out as soon as he had a chance, it was the only way to guarantee my safety. They really weren't sure I would recover, and if I did they weren't sure you wouldn't try again, or I wouldn't."

"I mourned. I grieved. I have missed you every single day. I have been tortured by the image of you burning yourself, killing yourself in front of my eyes. Megan, what I did to you. I know I said I wanted to break you, but when I found out you had lied to me... I purely just wanted you to hurt. I waited until you were weak enough to not notice, until your own mind was beginning to torture you with its chaos, and then I began putting thoughts into your head. I almost wanted you to resist, to challenge me again. I never thought my own pain could make me inflict that on someone I cared about."

It didn't escape Megan that there was no apology, and she began to wonder if this was a mistake. He looked in to her eyes and beyond the blue icy pools she could almost see into his soul. Tears welled in his eyes and threatened to spill over his cheeks, his lips pressed into a thin line in an attempt to hide the trembling. "I am sorry, Megan."