The Drug I Can't Give Up // A Brallon Fanfiction

Chapter four /

After an awkward dinner consisting (still) talking about my dream, Spencer taking at least three pills against his pounding headache in just one hour and Brendon drinking just a bit too much, we were at the venue. I had changed into a pair of black tight trousers, a white buttoned shirt and a black blazer on top. Almost like the outfit I wore in my dream. I shivered a bit at the thought of my dream. It felt so real but yet too good to be true.

We had just finished our sound check and was hanging backstage when the fans started pouring into the venue. I had a strange feeling something bad would happen tonight. Or, I didn't really know. Nowadays I was feeling weird all the time, so maybe it just was a normal feeling. I pushed it aside and took a quick look at the set list for tonight, which was kinda unnecessary, since we've had the same set list for about two weeks and I already knew what songs we were gonna play.

Finally, after what felt like ages, it was time to go on stage. Spencer went on first and sat down by the drums. Then me and Ian got on and lastly, you guessed it, Brendon.

The crowd went wild, they screamed from the top of their lungs and I was surprised they could scream as loud as they did, after they'd been chanting 'Panic! Panic!' for over an hour.

We started off with 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies' and I turned my head towards Spencer, waiting for his sign. He gave me a look and a nod before he slammed the drums, and I started playing too.

Suddenly, someone pulled the hem of my shirt and my forehead was pressed against Brendon's. He smiled, and my heart flipped in my chest. God, why did he do this to me?

He started singing the first verse and I followed along, but the words got stuck in my mouth and I couldn't get them out. I could already feel the sweat run down my back, my face, my whole body in fact. Brendon seemed to notice, since his hand moved up along my face and wiped a line of sweat off of my forehead. He gave me a smile and before he pulled back, he pressed a kiss to my forehead and my head started spinning.

I made it through to the second verse, and then I felt the dizziness get stronger and it felt like I'd pass out.
But it wasn't just a feeling, no, something was happening to me and to my whole body.

My sight slowly became blurrier and I felt myself losing track of my feet. I stumbled across the stage and moved my hand up to hold my head.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I turned my heel, trying to direct myself to move off of the stage, but my feet tangled together and I fell to my knees before I had any chance. I heard nervous screams, confused people talking, Spencer wasn't playing the drums anymore and Brendon had stopped singing completely.

I felt someone grab my arm, but couldn't see who it was. I turned my head and the last thing I saw before everything went black, was Brendon running towards me.

---

When I woke up again, I couldn't really make out where I was. It was pitch black, except for a light a few feet in front of me. I felt something against my head, something cold and wet. I blinked a few times, before turning my head around. I saw Brendon in front of me, patting a towel against my head.

"W-where is it?" I mumbled and tried to sit up straight, but Brendon gently pushed me back down on the couch.

"What the hell are you talking about, champ?" He asked me and lowered the towel from my head. He looked me in the eyes, but I was too dizzy to think about what he was feeling. Worried, maybe.

I licked my very dry lips, before speaking again. "My bass." I managed to get out and I saw a smile creeping over Brendon's lips, even though darkness was surrounding us.

"Really? You've just passed out and the first thing you say is 'where's my bass?'" Brendon said and it made me smile.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Don't worry about it. It's fine. You fell on your back, so it didn't break." He told me with a smile.

I gazed around the room and to my surprise I saw that we were backstage. First now, I heard the crowd screaming my name and things like "we love you" and "feel better". It made me happier, to know that they cared.
But most importantly, Brendon cared and he was here now. With me. By my side, taking care of me. And even though I loved this, being alone with him, he still had to get out there and carry on with the show.

"You need to go back out there." I said and Brendon rose his eyebrows at me.

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do. Just go." I kind of pushed him a bit, even though my hands were numb, but he wouldn't move.

"Well if I need to, so do you. I can't sing without the bass." Brendon told me and I rolled my eyes at that. "I'm not leaving you, Dallon."

I looked up at him. He was being truly genuine about it, I could see it in his eyes and in his whole face. The sarcasm that usually were there, wasn't. He was dead serious. And to be honest, it kind of creeped me out seeing him so different, but mostly, it just felt relieving. He wanted to be here, and that made my heart pound in my chest, just like it did when he smiled at me.

I gave him a smile. "Well, who's gonna carry on the show then?"

"We're only going to continue if you feel better." He told me and looked out towards the stage. "I could tell them that we can't continue...-"

"No!" I cut him off. "We're going to continue. I'm not going to let this stop me." I said and sat up, a bit too fast. I almost immediately felt dizzy and Brendon noticed. He wrapped his arm around me and had me lean on him for support. I smiled again and so did he.

"Can I get some water?" I asked quietly against his shoulder. He smelled really good.

He nodded and reached for a water bottle next to his feet on the floor. As he handed it over to me, our fingers brushed against each other and I could swear that his touch was electric against my sweaty skin. Or maybe it was all the adrenaline I was high on, but it didn't really matter.

I drank slowly, knowing if I drank too fast, I'd probably just throw it all up again. This wasn't the first time I had passed out. I then faced Brendon again, with a small smile on my face.

"Come on. We have a show to do."