The Drug I Can't Give Up // A Brallon Fanfiction

Chapter nine /

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains things some readers might find triggering, including self-harm.

**A/N: This chapter (and chapter eight) was so hard for me to write. I didn't plan on making it so sad and dramatic, but here we are. Please leave your thoughts in the comments and I'll make sure to reply to them. Thank you for reading! xx**

--

I felt like I was sleeping throughout the show, because suddenly we were walking off stage and heading back to the bus. Me and Brendon were the last ones to exit the venue and ended up walking next to each other. I hadn't been this close to him in ages and I could smell his perfume mixed with sweat. You think it would smell bad, but nothing ever seemed to smell bad on Brendon.

He didn't say anything, but in the corner of my eye I saw him turning his head towards me, like he wanted to say something, but he kept his mouth closed.

Our moment was over when we arrived at the bus and parted ways. He headed off to the lounge and I, you could probably guess, headed to my bunk.
I changed into a pair of sweatpants and curled up under the blankets.

I heard the door to the bus close, and I was left alone.

The guys was heading out to eat, but not me. I had told them I was feeling sick and wanted to stay at the bus. No one of them protested, but if I had said the exact same thing a few weeks ago, Brendon would've grabbed my cold hand and said he'd take care of me. And I would've obeyed and tagged along with them.

The thought of the memory made me smile, before a warm tear slipped down my cheek. And then another, and yet another.

I started crying into my pillow, making the fabric wet and sticky. Small sobs escaped my lips and I crawled deeper down under my blanket. My safe, safe blanket.

A laugh could be heard somewhere on the bus, but I was so caught up in my own world that I didn't hear it. Not until the laugh moved into where I was.

"I'm so stupid, I forgot my..-" Spencer's voice abruptly cut off when he stood in the doorway, watching me. I glanced up from the blankets and quickly wiped my tears with my fingers, making my eyes red.

"Dallon." His voice were filled with worry, sadness and sympathy and I started crying even more. I didn't want him to see me like this.

Spencer sat down next to me and he usually weren't a guy for hugs, but now, he pulled me up and into his arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around my torso, rocking me back and forth as he hushed me, telling me I was going to be alright. My head was buried into his shoulder and my tears made his coat wet but he didn't mind. My hands held onto him like he was the last person on earth.

Spencer didn't say much, but he didn't need to either. His presence was all I needed and I realized how much I'd missed someone holding me like this, telling me things were going to be okay.

After a while I must've calmed down, because Spencer slowly pulled back to look at me, but his arms were still wrapped around me.

"I-I'm sorry." I stuttered out and Spencer looked at me in a way that almost made me feel guilty.

"Don't you ever, ever apologize for being sad. Don't do that, Dallon." He told me in a calm but serious tone while he rubbed my back and I just nodded.