Chaennie Oneshots

Paperwork & Patrol: Crestview High II

The crisp, pine scented air of the Pinecrest Valley Retreat Center was supposed to foster high level diplomacy among the region's brightest young minds during their annual Physical Education and Tactical Leadership Seminar. Instead, it was currently hosting a high stakes arena of academic warfare, grade point average dominance, and deeply pathetic, double blind romantic longing.

Inside the briefing pavilion, Chan stood at the front of the room like a tactical commander preparing his cadets for an orbital drop. His massive shoulders practically burst through his official student council physical education polo, and he held two oversized clipboards while adjusting a precise array of water bottles on the table.

"Listen up, team," Chan boomed, his voice carrying the deep, soothing authority of a man who takes both youth mentorship and physical fitness with life or death seriousness. "The retreat committee has officially initialized the afternoon practical PE strategy module. I want clean form, maximum communication, and zero heatstroke. Chan loves a hydrated council!"

Near the back of the room, Lisa was frantically moving from chair to chair, shoving bright neon pink slips of paper into everyone's hands.

"Make sure you lock it in your calendars, people!" Lisa announced with infectious, unhinged enthusiasm. "My family is hosting our annual fundraising gala next month! I printed out helpful reminders for everyone! Make sure you hand out those STDs to your parents!"

Jackson, who was sitting beside Roseanne while vigorously applying hand sanitizer to his palms, gasped so loudly he nearly choked on his own breath. "Lisa! No! You cannot go around handing people STDs! That is a medical term!"

"It stands for Save The Date, Jackson!" Lisa argued, slapping another neon slip onto Jackson's lap. "It is efficient! It is catchy! Who doesn't love a good STD in the mail?!"

"Literally everyone on planet Earth!" Jackson shrieked, clutching his clipboard like a shield. "Roseanne, tell her! Tell her she is distributing biological horror!"

Roseanne Park was not listening to Jackson. In fact, Roseanne was currently operating on zero operational capacity because Vice President Jennie Kim was standing under the skylight three feet away, meticulously adjusting her silver council badge.

Roseanne was so hopelessly whipped that when Jennie accidentally dropped her color coded highlighter, Roseanne dove across two folding chairs with the agility of a trained Secret Service agent just to retrieve it.

"Here," Roseanne said smoothly, handing it back with a suave, rogue grin, though her heart was hammering against her ribs like a trapped drum. "Cannot have the Vice President losing her official weapons of mass organization."

"Oh. Thank you, Roseanne," Jennie said softly.

Jennie looked down at the highlighter, then up at Roseanne's bright, attentive eyes. Her stomach did a treacherous, violent flip. Jennie spent half her waking hours internally hyperventilating over how impossibly breathtaking Roseanne looked when she was being earnest, but she immediately buried that thought under four layers of administrative denial. She is just being an overly dramatic girl, Jennie convinced herself, completely oblivious to the fact that Roseanne was practically vibrating with adoration. She does this for everyone. She is just naturally overly helpful. She definitely does not look at me like that.

"Relax, Jackson," Roseanne said, reluctantly turning back to Jackson while keeping one eye glued to Jennie. "I have bigger fish to fry today. The retreat judges are awarding extra credit and the prestigious 'Most Creative Takedown' medal for the tactical laser combat test. And I have designed a move so recklessly brilliant, so entirely illegal in spirit yet technically allowed by the PE syllabus, that they will have to name a wing of the campus after me."