Step one, you say "We need to talk"
He walks, you say "Sit down. It's just a talk"
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
How To Save A Life ~ The Fray
My phone was ringing again. It was sitting next to me on the bed but I wouldn't answer it, it was probably Matt again. He'd already called five times this morning and left messages and this morning I was in a world of pain and really didn't feel like talking to Matt, I didn't want to deal with his confusing mixed signals.
Finally it stopped ringing and I closed my eye's again. I'd slept terribly last night, the pain had been bad and it wasn't much better this morning.
I just wanted sleep but the damn phone started ringing again.
I grabbed it looking at the caller ID. It was Rosie.
"Hello." I answered.
"Hi babe how are you?" She asked.
"I've been better."
"Not feeling great?"
"Not really." I told her.
"Sooooo." She went on. "Tell me about last night?"
"Nothing to tell, I went to bed, slept like shit."
"What?" She asked, sounding confused.
"I slept like shit."
"Yeah but what happened with Matt?" She asked me.
"Nothing, Tess came over and they left to go party or something." I told her.
"Excuse me?"
"Yeah Tess showed up and they left."
"You have got to be fucking kidding me." She hissed.
"What?"
"Tess came to your place?"
"Yeah."
"And he left with her?"
"Well yes he did." I explained.
"That's it, I've had enough of him. Honestly Peyton, he doesn't know what he's doing." She snapped.
"Tess told me something." I whispered.
"What, what did that bitch tell you?"
"She said that basically Matt is using me to make himself feel better for not being there for Tiffany." I told her.
"Oh please Peyton, that's ridiculous."
"Is it?" I asked.
"Yes it is, ugh, I'm sick of that bitch." She growled. "Someone needs to put her in her place and that someone is going to be me."
I laughed, I couldn't help it.
"Don't laugh Peyton I'm serious, and you know what else?" She asked, but before I had a chance to reply she went on. "You need to talk to Matt."
"No I don't." I answered quickly.
"Yeah you do. I see what he does to you Peyton, he's confusing you."
I closed my eye's, she was right.
"You need to sit down and talk, ask him what's going on and if he can't give you a good enough answer Peyton well it's time to walk away."
"Maybe."
"No." She snapped. "No maybe, hang up this phone and call him, tell him that your going to have a talk, no more Peyton, either he's interested in you or he's not."
It was the he's not interested part that worried me.
"Fine."
"Good, I'll call you back." And the line went dead.
Damn, I had to call Matt. I didn't know if I was prepared for what he might say, although at this point I really would like to know exactly where I stood.
I looked at my phone and dialed his number. It only rang twice.
"Peyton." He answered virtually straight away.
"Hi." I said softly.
"How are you feeling today?"
"I've been better." I told him. "But look Matt, I was wondering if you could come over?"
"Of course I can."
"I think we need to talk." I said.
He was silent for a few minutes but finally answered. "Yeah, yeah we do."
I tried to read his voice but I couldn't. I wanted Matt to come over, I really wanted to see him, I was just scared of what he might say.
I groaned internally. I'd fallen for him. Hard.
"Okay well....." I trailed off.
"Okay well give me twenty minutes and I'll be there." He said. "Do you need anything?"
Only you.
"I don't think so."
"Hmmm we'll see, anyway I'll see you soon." He told me, hanging up.
Well this was it, I thought sitting up. Time to find out exactly where I stood with Matthew, time to find out if we have a future together.
I stood up, my arm was hurting so bad. I only hoped that by the end of the day my heart wasn't hurting too.
