Hide my face again, harbor in the shadows
Feel this weight of sin hammering away
Die - with the guilt of a thousand AWOL soldiers
Die - watch the scythe usher me astray
I can't go on this way
Not as I am today
The ugly side of me is strong
Take aim, a loaded gun
Pull back on all who run
A coward's truth inside the wrong
This Means War ~ Avenged Sevenfold
Matt's POV
I leant down, pulling my shoes on.
"You going out?" Brian asked me.
"Yeah, I'm going over to the house." I told him. "The painters are in and I just want to see how they're going. Hopefully we can move in by the end of next week."
"Um, with Peyton?"
"Yeah with Peyton." I said standing up.
"Oh okay." He said awkwardly. "I wasn't sure."
I just shook my head, grabbing my keys. "Yeah. See ya."
I got in the car heading for the house and trying not to think about Peyton. I didn't want to think about her, not yet, not until later. I won't lie I was dying to see her, I missed her, I was just.....what?.....I didn't really know, I didn't know anything at the moment.
Tonight, I told myself, getting out of the car, tonight everything will be okay again.
I walked inside, looking around, and headed straight out the back. This house was perfect, the backyard was just right, the pool was great. This really was the perfect house.
I glanced around once more and turned to go back inside. The painters were finishing up in the bedrooms, and I stopped to look at our room. Peyton had picked the perfect color and it looked great.
"How's it going?" I asked them.
"Yeah good." One of them said, wiping his brow. "We've basically only got that room to do." He said indicating to the room next to ours.
I walked into it, looking around. "What color did she choose?"
"Um." He said, climbing off his ladder. "Just a neutral beige color."
I nodded, beige.
"Do you have a color chart?" I asked him.
"Sure." He said, going through a bag and handing me a card.
"Can you just leave it for a while. I just want to go over the colors again." I told him. "I'll be back."
"Sure no problem."
I hurried out to my car, jumping in. Would Peyton be home? I hoped so, I wanted to ask her about the colors, desperately, and as I got closer to her house I started feeling sick.
I pulled up, great, Rosie was here. I walked up to the door and knocked. I didn't use my key, it felt wrong.
Rosie opened the door and her face said it all. "You're too early." She hissed. "We haven't left yet."
I shook my head, pushing past her. "Where is she?"
"Who is it?" Peyton asked, walking out of the bedroom. "Oh."
She looked a mess. Her hair was everywhere, her eye's and nose red. She just looked sad.
"I needed to ask you something?" I said to her. "About the colors." I told her, holding up the color chart.
"THE COLORS?" Rosie screeched and she started hitting me with her purse. "Fucking colors. Are you serious?"
"Fuck." I yelled at her, grabbing Peyton's hand. "Please can we do this in the kitchen." I asked her. "Away from her."
Peyton shrugged and I pulled her into the kitchen. I looked at her. God I'd missed her and I couldn't help it, I pulled her into my arms, kissing her softly. She stiffened against me, not returning my kiss.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. "Now is just not a good time."
"Just look." I said shoving the card at her. "Pick a color."
She grabbed the card, looking down at it and I saw a tear fall onto it.
"I'm not sure what you want?" She whispered, wiping her face with her free hand.
"Just pick a color." I murmured, moving closer to her and wrapping my arms around her.
"Really, now is not a good time." She whispered. "Maybe later."
I buried my face in her hair, closing my eyes. "I need to know now Peyton." I whispered.
"Oh Matt." She sobbed.
I tightened my arms, pulling her closer and putting my lips to her ear. "We need to decide what color the baby's room will be."
She sobbed again and I pulled her into my chest, holding her. "I'm sorry baby." I murmured. "I guess I got scared."
She nodded, wrapping her arms around me.
I don't know what I had been thinking, but I was glad I'd come to my senses before it was too late.
"Peyton." Rosie snapped, walking in to the kitchen. "You're going to be late."
"It's okay." I told her.
"It's not okay." She snapped at me. "None of this is okay, and you're making her pick colors. COLORS." She yelled.
"For the baby's room." Peyton told her quietly.
"What?"
"Colors for the baby's room." I said.
"Oh god, oh thank you jesus, thank you jesus for making this dip shit open his eyes." She cried, walking out.
"Hey." I whispered, raising Peytons face so I could look at her. "I'm sorry, so sorry."
She nodded.
"I love you Peyton, honestly I do."
"I love you." She whispered.
I kissed her like I was never going to kiss her again, holding her tightly.
"We'll be okay." She whispered.
"Yeah." I said smiling. "The three of us will be fine."
I couldn't believe it, but we were actually going to have a baby, and honestly, I was excited.
