When the curtain falls it rolls, unwraps, reminds me
The person that I am
I'm still afraid, ashamed, of what's behind me
But you gave me the strength to stand
Sh-sh-sh-shake it off go get the things you want
I'll bottle the shame (bottle the shame)
Just sh-sh-shake it off, and no one will ever know (won't know)
Life @ 11 ~ A Day To Remember
Peyton's POV
"Peyton." Rosie said for the hundredth time. "You're going to be a mommy."
I smiled and nodded for the hundredth time, secretly wishing she'd go home.
Matt had gone back to the house to sort out the color and I was just waiting for him to come back.
"Why do you think he changed his mind?" Rosie asked.
I shrugged. "I don't know." But I certainly was planning on asking him. "But I'm glad he did." I was so glad he did.
"Me too." Rosie said hugging me. "I'm really glad Peyton."
God I wished he'd hurry up.
"Coffee?" Rosie asked.
"I don't know, can I have coffee?" Shit I didn't know anything.
"Of course you can Peyton, moderation, if you have everything in moderation it's fine." Rosie lectured me. "Oh except alcohol and drugs, so don't go getting drunk and shooting up."
"Yeah I'll try and remember that." I said as I heard the front door open.
I watched the kitchen door and Matt walked through, smiling. "You still here?" He asked Rosie.
"Isn't that lovely." She said.
"Hey." He said softly to me, wrapping his arm's around me and kissing me.
"Well I can take a hint." Rosie said. "I guess I'll leave."
I smiled. "You don't have to." But I hoped she did.
"Yes I do." She said walking to the door.
I followed her out. "Thanks Rosie." I said softly.
"Oh Peyton." She whispered. "I'm just glad everything turned out okay."
"Me too." I said hugging her.
I watched her drive off, waving, then I took a deep breath, heading back inside.
Matt was in the living room, sitting on the couch and I wandered over, sitting next to him.
"So." He said, putting his arm around my shoulders. "Do you want to go out for dinner?"
I looked at him, shaking my head. "Not really."
"Thank god." He said smiling. "I don't either."
"Good."
"I just want to spend time with you."
I layed my head on his chest, good, I just wanted to spend time with him.
And we did. We layed around, ordered pizza, watched movies until I started falling asleep.
"Let's go to bed." He finally murmured.
We got ready, dodging the half packed boxes that were lying in my room and finally we were in bed.
I rolled over onto my side, Matt next me. I watched him, laying there in the dark, we still hadn't talked and I wasn't really sure what to say.
"I missed you." He murmured, turning over, wrapping me in his arms and pulling me into his chest. "I really did."
"I missed you." And I really had.
"I'm so sorry Peyton." He whispered. "I really am. What I did, it was just...." His voice trailed off and we fell silent.
"Why did you change your mind?"
"I don't know. I went over to the house and I was looking around and suddenly I could imagine our children there, in the backyard, in the pool, it was like it suddenly all made sense to me."
I looked at him and he kissed me softly. "I'm glad."
"Me too." He murmured. "I'm just sorry I hurt you and god now I keep thinking what if I hadn't have come over when I did."
"But you did." I murmured.
"I know, thank god."
We layed there, him holding me, both thinking.
"I don't understand it." He suddenly said.
"What?" Oh god, what now?
He groaned, staring at the ceiling. "I don't understand why the thought of having children with Tiffany bothered me, I mean I didn't want kids, at all, never." He went silent.
"I don't know." I murmured.
"But the thought of you and I having kids, it makes me feel....." He went quiet again.
"Makes you feel what?" I wondered out loud.
He turned onto his side, touching my cheek and tucking my hair behind my ear. "Excited." He murmured. "It makes me feel excited and happy and just the thought of us having children Peyton, it makes me so happy."
I smiled, it made me happy too.
"Fuck." He murmured, kissing me. "I'm obviously so in love with you and I hope you know baby." He kissed my nose. "I can't wait. I can't wait to have this baby and then I can't wait to have another."
I laughed quietly.
"Fuck, what is wrong with me?" He moaned.
"I don't know but I like it." I whispered. "And I love you and please don't leave me again."
"Oh I'll never do that again trust me." He murmured and we kissed until he pulled away slightly. "How did we end up here?" He murmured.
"I don't know Matt but I'm glad."
"Me too." He whispered. "Me too Peyton."
I smiled to myself, I had my baby and I had Matt and I realised that they were all that mattered to me anymore, but it felt so good.
