south park oneshots~

Kenny x cannibal!reader

Warning: (I wouldn't read this around family, or friends, or anyone that is easily scared of gore, or is very skiddish. I would not be eating food!)

My name isn't important. But what is important is to tell you my horrifying secret, and why. I am not a typical teen girl, I'm not like what you see. I am a cannibal. I eat people when I'm hungry. I like to do that to people.

My favorite part of eating the human, is the intestines. But when the victim is my ex, I eat their hearts. After I eat my victims, I take their blood, and put it in a jar, and write their names on it. Why you ask? Well I love to drink their blood.

In school, no one knows my secret, or anything. But some students are missing, because of me kidnapping them, and eating them alive. I do like regular food, not just humans. But humans are my favorite food.

There's this one boy in my class named Kenny McCormick. I really like him, a lot. My heart sometimes skips a beat when he gets near me. He always makes me, happy. But you don't know what I'm talking about. But the problem is, he dies a lot and no one remembers. But I do remember him dying a lot. Kenny is love. Kenny is life.

Next day

Today I'm going to tell Kenny my feelings for him. I hope he excepts my feelings. If he does not like me, I'll eat him. I'm pretty nervous. I calmly go up to Kenny I'm going to tell him. "Kenny?" I said.

"Yes?" Kenny said

"I really like you a lot. I want to like, date you?" I said. Did I fuck up?

"Sure. Let's hang out after school."he said.

Mission accomplished!!!!

After school, he shows up at my front door. I took a shower, brush my teeth, and hid all of my jars of my victims blood under my bed. I hope that Kenny doesn't find out my horrifying, dark secret. I'm just 15 years old. I've been eating people since age 10 or 11.

"Hi." I said opening the door.

"Hello cutie." Kenny said walking in the door. He thinks I'm cute? Wow! That's the first time a guy has ever said that to me. Maybe this will cut me down on eating humans.

"Come inside!" I chirped. Kenny comes inside the house. I bring him upstairs with me. If he's thinking about banging me, that's off the table.

Kenny gets upstairs in my room. He sits down on my bed. Oh my god, the jars of my victims blood is under my bed. Shit.

"So uhhh..." I said "what do you want to do?"

Kenny pets my face, and pulls me into a kiss. Then I heard something knock over under my bed. Oh no! My jars, they knocked over.

I get the bloody jars out of my bed. Kenny thought I was bleeding. "Are you ok y/n??" He asked.

I have to tell him the truth. "Kenny. These jars have blood it them, and I'm a cannibal!" I said. My eyes turn red.

"Oh. Please don't eat people." He said.

"K....Kenny.. Ever since I saw you......I quit eating humans." I said shyly.

Kenny hugs me. Know I stopped eating people. Except I ate Kenny twice!