Sometimes I wonder how students can get through a lesson of History with Professor Binns. It's so boring and he just drones on and on. Does he even know he is dead? I've heard people say he just died one day and came wandering through the wall for class like it was nothing. At least the school won't have to worry about him leaving this job. As he continued to drone on, I wrote more notes with the occasional scribble of a snitch or brooms. I had lost my creative touch, what a shame. "Psst" I felt something hit my head and fall onto my desk, it seemed like a note. I unfolded the scrunched up parchment.
Hey can we please talk?
- Padfoot
I turn my head around and see Sirius looking at me desperately. I mouthed "No" but he just kept looking at me with pleading eyes, mouthing "please" I looked over to James who was too busy scribbling on the desk to notice what Sirius had just done. Remus was with Peter taking notes. I looked back to Sirius and his damn puppy eyes. I gave in. No one could resist those eyes. Maybe this was a sign I was ready to talk. It had been months now since we have spoken. I quickly scribbled down a reply.
Fine. Where and when?
I folded it up and quietly charmed it to go back to Sirius. It wasn't long until I got a reply.
After class, just outside
As the lesson came to an end I threw everything into my bag and waited outside, dreadfully waiting for the conversation to come. As more of my classmates left, I notice Remus whispering something to Sirius before he wanders over to me. The rest of the marauders walked off, probably wanting to avoid this conversation. I wish I could too. Sirius stood next to me quietly as we waited for the rest of the class to leave the hall, I noticed his hair had gotten longer. So much that he had tied it back, though the front of his hair still framed his face. I'll admit it suits him very well... His stormy eyes were fixed to the ground. I loved how much life seemed to live in them when he was happy... No. No I can't think like this. I'm mad. I'm supposed to be mad.
"So what do you want?" I asked, snapping out of my thoughts as the hall was left empty. "I want to apologise" He began, his eyes still fixed on the ground. "I had no right to say what I did, I should never have treated you like that... I... I shouldn't have picked a fight with Snape" He looked back up at me and I could see he was trying to hold back tears. "Please, I know I messed up. I really want to make it up to you. I want to be with you again. I need you in my life. Please El-"
"We can't be together, I don't even know if we can..." I cut him off, leaving him in silence. "I appreciate this... I do... But I can't be in a relationship right now" my gaze went from his eyes to my shoes. I couldn't do it, after all that. For all he did for Severus. He wouldn't even listen to me, called me a blood traitor. If we were going to do this we needed to start fresh. "If... If we can't be together, can we at least try to be friends again?..." It was a start. Maybe it would go back to how things used to be, simple. "We can try" I look up to see the smile on his face. "You won't regret this. I promise"
As the days went on, it wasn't too bad. I slowly started to hang out with the boys again. I started with just eating dinner with them and so on, occasionally just hanging out in the common room. Everything was starting to go back to the way it was, though I could catch Sirius staring at me on certain occasions. Peter fills me in on how much James teases him about being in love with me, yet he shoots back how much James loves Lily. As amusing as it is, I wonder what it would've been like if that day hadn't happened. If they had never picked on Severus, what would things be like now?
Sometimes Sirius would get really awkward around me, or barely say a word. I've heard whispers among the boys saying how upset he gets sometimes. Is he really upset about what happened? I was upset when I broke up with him, I was hurt but I moved on. At least, I think I have. "You coming Vixen? We haven't got all night to wait" James calls as we make our way to the Womping Willow. "Whatever you say Prongs" After we had gotten through the passage way and into the shack we made ourselves comfortable. Well at least I did, it had been so long since I had used this form. Prongs and Padfoot happily played with Moony but he seemed to grow bored of the shack. I followed them down the hall only to see Moony scratching at the door, wanting to get out. Prongs pushed the door open roughly and they were free. Running into the forest and playing some more. Wormtail and I followed closely behind, just enjoying the view rather then playing with them.
There are times when they get a bit too rough, so I'd normally watch. We ran deeper and deeper into the forest, until we reached a large opening. If I were still human I would've laughed at the sight. Padfoot and Moony were rolling around in the grass while Prongs just ran around them. It was really amusing. It wasn't until now that I realised how much I really missed this. Spending time with them. I couldn't be mad at them forever, they are my family after all."Vixen? It's time to wake up" someone nudges me awake. As I open my eyes I'm greeted with the four boys staring down at me with large grins. "I can't believe you fell asleep in the forest" James says as he helps me up. "Well I didn't feel like rolling around in the grass with you guys" We all laughed and talked as we made our way to breakfast, I was starving. "And then Moony ran all the way to the opening and howled like AWOOO and then Padf-"
"We were all there Peter" Sirius cuts him off but Peter continues to recount the events of last night. Remus sat there quietly eating his toast. "Are you feeling okay Remus?" I asked. "Yeah, just tired is all. Not exactly my favourite time of the month"
