Finding A Home part 2

Chapter 19

I was at the door. My hand balled up into a fist ready to knock on my own door. But it froze,not even inches away from the door.

I didn't want to go in. I didn't want to see the tears. For Cammie or Shannon to hear about the horror that has happened. But I had to face the reality. Or I'd be stuck here forever.

They place a hand on each shoulder and I had opened the door. My steps were quite and slow,or maybe I couldn't hear them over my heart beating. Compared to the rate my heart was beating,I was definitely slow.

I walked in the living room with Shannon and Cammie behind me. Ally and Stevie were on separate sides of the room. Not looking at anything,or eachother. Just starring at nothing. This isn't what I'm use to coming home to. I felt out of place. Like I had walked into some parallel universe,and maybe I have. It seems to be more logical to me right now than the insane reality I'm facing.

Stevie's began to slowly rise her head,and look up at me.

"Nicole?"

She began crying hysterically. I wasn't sure what to do. I just stared at her for a moment,then sat beside her and began sobbing silently.

"What's wrong guys? What's been going on?" Shan and Cam had asked.

Ally:we just have a lot to talk about. We have things we need to fix here. However you ended up with Allie we're thankful you brought her here. Please go though,we'll call you later and explain. I promise.

They understood whatever was happening was more serious than they had thought. So,they decided to let it be, and walked out giving me a look,to make sure I was okay. I looked back letting them know things would be fine. When honestly,I had no clue.

"Do you hate me? I'm not a monster Allie. I'm not. I won't hurt you I could never hurt you. Please understand that. Please don't think of me differently. I love you so much Allie Nicole. I don't know what I'd do without you. Please understand. Please. I feel awful for what I've done but it was for you. You may not have asked but I had to. It's the only way to truly get rid of him. It's the only for us to live without having to look over our shoulders for him constantly. I did this for us. I really did." Stevie said begging me to speak up. Begging for forgiveness.

"No,I don't blame you. It's okay. We're okay. Steph told me if it were me I'd kill him. She reminded me I almost did. I can't judge you. Besides,you gave up a lot for me. Including your beautiful wedding. Which needs to be back on. Soon."

"So,you're okay?"

"Well its not like it's not going to come up again. It's not something that can just go away. But we can get this past us."

"Allie..wait. Who all did you tell?"

"Just Steph. I promise. Cam and Shan found me on the road and I didn't say anything to them. I think we should tell them though. I'm sure they'll be supportive and help. They're already curious and it's better they figure out now rather than later."

"Okay..But we have to be careful. This already has you and me messed up,not to mention Ally who isn't saying a word. This can hurt us,we can't let it anything else hurt us. Do you understand?"

"I understand."

We hugged tightly. Her them rubbing my shoulder as she held me. Holding me as if she hadn't seen me in years.

"I've missed you little Alls. You have no idea how much I've missed you"

She had whispered into my ear.

"Get over here kid." Ally had said pulling me into her chest and falling back on the couch. She cried telling me not to scare her like that again. That she's so glad I'm okay. We layed there for awhile,just taking in eachothers essence.

The rest if the day we spent explaining things. Details of the wedding that is soon to come. How we need to watch for Stevie because a hard hit to the head can cause numerous problems. That we have to watch out for me as well because I'm still weak,but would recover in a few days. Told them that Torey doesn't have to come here that I'd go there. That she's an important part of me
and I'm hoping they'd understand that. They didn't much like it. We had faught about it for awhile but finally came to an understanding.

It was the end of the night. We had eaten dinner and went to our rooms.
I layed down on the cool fabric of my favorite pillow. Listening to the music I had playing softly from my phone,afraid to go to sleep in the silence. I heard my door squeak and due to the low lighting of my phone I seen a shady figure at my door. At first I was terrified,but as it got closer it resembled Ally.

"Did I wake you Kiddo?"

"No,I wasn't asleep yet."

"Too tired to talk?"

"We can talk."

She sat on the end of my bed and I sat up ready to listen.

"You've been through a LOT of shit Als. What Stevie did was scarring. What your dad did was scarrng. You shouldn't have to go through all this and I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through all this but know we're trying to make this better. I'm trying to make this better. You had just come out of the hospital and you ended up having to stay at my ex's."

She paused for a moment,her voice was no longer calm. She was trying to pull herself together with will,but was unable

"I thought you were gone. I hardly spoke because I was numb. I was mourning you before you were even gone. All I could do was sit and cling to the thought of you. You being gone isn't something I could take. I love you Kiddo. So so much. Please,don't be afraid. Don't run from us. Don't back away. We need you. And trust me if you run I'll find you and that will be much worse."

Ally had pulled me into her in the middle of her speech. Her grip was so tight it was like she thought I was trying to flee from it. But I pulled her close to me as tight as I could as well.

"I'm right here. You didn't lose me. I love you guys more than anything." I spoke softly. Still crying over the words she had spoken to me.

She had went to walk out but as her hand grabbed the doorknob I had stopped her.

"What is it Nicole?"

"Will you sleep with me? I'm afraid to go to sleep.."

She had grinned then nodded. She pulled the covers down and crawled into bed. I layed on my stomach and turned the music on my phone back on. Ally turned to her side and rubbed my back softly until I had fallen to sleep.