Devil

Chapter 21

If things would have been different, you would have cursed your bad luck and asked why life was treating you like that but you couldn't. You couldn't because it was your entire fault and you deserved it. It wasn't your intention to hurt Jongin. Actually, it was the opposite. You hadn't been brave enough to break up with Kyungsoo and you didn't want that to destroy what you had with Jongin. You did it for the best of your relationship. But truth will always prevail.

You and Jongin had a phone call after that and, although he was so angry and disappointed, he assured that it wasn't going to be a reason to break your relationship. He was just mad because that situation caused to leave your first time aside. He wanted it to be special and memorable and now that was casting a shadow over it. You understood him perfectly. You didn't even have time to talk about it before the truth was revealed. You wanted to talk to him about that night and telling him that it was perfect and you were going to remember it forever. Telling him that you had never felt such a connection with anyone, that he was a part of you and you belonged together. But Jongin wasn't in the mood to talk about that and it was just because you had been plain and simple a coward and hadn't been able to tell Kyungsoo.
You were glad that things were normal with Jongin again but you were still suspicious. He was constantly assuring you that he wasn't mad at you because you lied to him; he was just mad because that clouded your first time. You wanted to believe him but why wasn't he mad at you because of that? You lied to him.

You sighed deeply and put the last things in your bag. The following couple of days were going to be a torture. Jongin insisted on going to the cottage with Kyungsoo, so you would finish that "misunderstanding" once and for all. You didn't know why he wanted you to go or why he wanted to go himself. Particularly when you both knew that Subin was going to be there too. That made you blood boil. That bitch... If would have been easier if you two just met and you tell him.

"You don't have to come, you know?", you told Jongin while you waited for Kyungsoo while you sat in your porch. It wasn't because you didn't want him to go. Of course you wanted him to go, he made you feel safer and braver but you didn't want him near Subin. Well, you didn't want Subin near him; it was her the one you didn't trust.

"I want to make sure that you tell him", he replied. You felt guilty immediately.

"I'm so sorry. This wouldn't have happened if I would have been more...", you began.

"You don't have to feel sorry", he cut you off.

"But it's my fault. I understand if you're mad at me", you said.

"I'm not. I don't have the right to be mad", he replied.

"What do you mean?", you asked confused.

"We spent two years hating each other because of my fault. I don't deserve to be mad at you. What I did was worse", he replied quietly, averting your eyes. So it was that. He said he wasn't mad at you because he thought he owned you something?

"Jongin, do you really think that I'm going to throw it in your face every time something happens? That is the past and it's already forgotten. You don't have to act as if you own me something", you said as your lips met his softly. You quickly broke the kiss as you heard a car engine stopping.

Kyungsoo and Subin got out of the car. Kyungsoo seemed quiet while Subin had a stupid grin on her stupid face. She ran to Jongin and interweaved her arm with his and placed her head on his shoulder. You had to take all your strength to avoid the revulsion you were feeling to show in your face.

"Hey", Kyungsoo said quietly as he leaned to kiss you but you turned your face in the last second as his mouth landed on your cheek. You looked at Jongin sideways; his face emotionless.