Saving Ally

Chapter 32

--Ally Christian

     I slam on the breaks and hear my tires squeak on the icy street underneath my car. Cindy screams and I stay deathly silent. Thank God there was no one behind me. We sit for a moment in silence. My arms are straight as can be and my hands are gripping onto the steering wheel. I stare straight ahead. In my peripheral vision, I see Cindy leaning against the seat, breathing heavily and grabbing a hold of the door handle.

     "I'm sorry," she whispers after a while. "I should've told you earlier."

     "W-why w-would he k-keep that from me?" I stutter quietly.

     "He has many kids. I have a brother from him," Cindy says.

     "But how? He's been with my mom..." I cut myself off and think. He's been having affairs with different women.

     I scream in frustration and hit the steering wheel. He cheated on my mother. He hurt my mother. He probably even killed my mother. He's hurt other girls and he's had kids with other girls. Out of complete anger and sadness, I start to cry. I lay my head on top of my steering wheel and cry hysterically. Suddenly, I hear the honking of cars behind me.

     "We need to move, Ally. I can drive," she says, getting out of the car and helping me into the passengers seat.

     After I give her the address to my appointment, I sit in a ball in the seat. I suddenly feel all the pain. I feel every cut, every slap, every scrape, every hit, every emotion. I feel it all, and it hurts so much. I can feel the breaking of my heart when my mom died. I can feel the stinging of the slap that my dad brought onto my face. I can feel every cut that I've put on my body. I can feel the knife cutting through my skin and into my stomach.

     By the time we get to the appointment, I'm done crying. The tears just stop coming out. All the pain has washed away with my tears, along with the emotions as well. I feel completely numb, as if I'm asleep. The only thing that I can hear are the thoughts in my head. They're asking questions, many many questions.

     How many girls has he hurt?

     Did he kill my mom?

     How many girls has he gotten pregnant?

     How many siblings do I have?

     The thoughts won't stop, they just keep on going and going. There's absolutely no stopping them. When my mind runs out of questions, everything's quiet in my mind. All there is is darkness. I didn't even realize that Cindy had gotten out of the car and is now trying to get me to move.

     "Ally, come on we have to go. You're probably already late for your appointment," she says, pulling on my arm. I slowly crawl out of the car, and follow her into the building. We both stay silent.

     I sit down in the waiting room as Cindy goes up and tells them that I'm here. I stare straight ahead. I try to feel, to think, to speak; nothing comes out.

     "Ally Christian?" A girl comes out behind the wooden door and says. She holds the door open for me as Cindy and I walk down the long hallway. She leads us into a room and tell me that my therapist will come soon. Cindy holds my hand and we sit in silent until my therapist comes.

     "Hello Ally," my therapist says, walking through the door. She's a short caramel skinned girl with long curly brown hair. I shake hands with her, and try to smile, but fail. The smile gets wiped off her face as she looks into my eyes. "Ally, have you been crying?"