Tear in my Heart // Joshler

Nine

By the time I got out of the shower it was 11:57am and I had about 40 minutes until I had to be at the park.

I still didnt know if Tyler was going to show up.. or if he even liked me

Do I even like him..?

All I know is I sure as hell liked when he cuddled up with me. Or wait I think that was just a dream..
Either way It's probably only because I miss what I had with Debby ...

I got dressed and put my shoes on and then walked right out the door, ignoring my mother and not bothering to eat anything.. I didn't need to gain more weight anyway.

My walk was pretty nice since it was starting to get chilly outside. It's only October, pretty much the start of fall.

Fall is my favorite season, it's still warm but it has a subtle chilly breeze that just makes you wanna lay down and cuddle with some fluffy teddy bears. Oh and also Starbucks brings back the pumpkin spice frappecchino and latte.

Basically all you need to win my heart over is a stuffed animal and a pumpkin spice frappecchino.

I sat down on the park bench and patiently waited for Tyler to arrive. I figured he wouldn't show up but I stayed anyways, Considering the only time I really left the house was to go shopping with Debby or to go to school.

After about 30 minutes of waiting, I felt a light tap on my shoulder which scared the living hell out of me since there wasn't anyone outside at the time.
Tyler sat down next to me on the bench
"Hey.. You doing alright?" He said breaking the silence. I just nodded

"So... The other night," Tyler spoke out, His voice cracking a bit.
"Wait what? I thought that was a dream?"
I was really confused.. If he really cuddled up to me and fell asleep with me why didn't he leave a note saying bye?

he just..
left...

"I know um, I'm really sorry I just had to go help my mom with some stuff at the house and it was getting late anyway... I'm really sorry.."

I looked up only to be met with his eyes staring into mine. He had been staring at me

Why?

Did I look really fat and ugly today?

Yes, You do look really bad today..
you probably would've been better off staying home today

My thoughts were cut off when his soft hand gently held my cheek.

His fingertips glided across my cheeks

Suddenly my lips were met with his, It didn't last long but I was surprised

I started pinching my arm to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

I definitely knew it wasn't a dream when I interlocked my fingers with his and he didn't let go until we got home and fell asleep in each other's embrace.

------------

September 19, 2015