Tear in my Heart // Joshler

Twelve

I really don't remember much about the past week,
I've been too tired to get out of bed and do necessary things such as eating and going to school.

Tyler has been visiting me a lot more and stuff..
Don't get me wrong he makes me really happy but I just feel like he's wasting his free time on pretending to care about me.

My mom has stayed home from work a couple times just to make sure I was actually feeling okay and not just faking so I could up and leave while nobody's here with me

I'm guessing that's also why Tyler's here all the time, My mom is probably paying him to babysit me so I don't accidentally kill myself.

The only time I feel happy is when Tyler, the boy that met me crying on the bathroom floor, Cuddles up next to me and tells me that everything is going to be okay.

Oh yeah,
Another thing happened this week..
I was taken to the hospital and I got my arm all stitched up c:

Tyler and my mom decided it was best for me to take away all of my sharp objects while I was sleeping

I understand why they're doing this but I just feel lonely without them.
I know that's a bad thing, when you think your only friends are razor blades..

She also replaced all of our knives with regular butter knives and plastic knives.

I don't understand why everyone is worrying about me so much all of a sudden, My dad finally called again..

He haven't called in over a year...

He just asked me why I did it and to get help if I need it because he hates to see me this way.

doubt it.

The only time my dad calls is when something really serious happens to me or mom.. I guess this was considered serious.

I haven't really been crying lately. I've just been laying in bed and writing in this journal.

Occasionally Tyler would bring my Xbox upstairs and we would play Mario kart together, but not much.

He's probably just scared of me beating him.

My mom is letting Tyler stay the night again tonight, but I think it's because they're going to make me go back to school on Monday. it's only Friday right now and I've barely moved from my bed.
Mom would bring lucky charms and toast with Nutella spread on top in the morning before she goes off to work.

I guess you could say I have a good family, Except for the fact that my dad barely talks to us anymore and we have no idea what's going on in his life right now.

Crap, I have to go now, I can hear Ty walking up to my room.
See you tomorrow, And thanks for always listening to my problems, Journal :-)

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hihi so by the way I'm fine so donut worry, that last update was basically me saying I don't know what to write but I doesn't matter now, I deleted it..
Anyways feel free to kik me any time @ untold.secretss
also my Instagram is @ twentyonephancake :-)

byeee 💙🐛

September 24, 2015
(oH yEAH ALSO ITS DILS BIRTHDAY WOOP WOOP)