"Okay," Dr. Palmer walked in with a smile, "concerns before you leave."
We had Noah in his new car seat and everything packed ready to go. Jason and I sat on the leather couch that was in our hospital room.
"So, I think we can all agree that Noah was your worst birth," Dr. Palmer gave me a sympathetic look before continuing, "and that brings me to my next question. How many kids are you guys wanting?"
"Five," Jason answered and gave him a confused look.
"Oh wow..." Dr looked at his clip board, "well, I'm not sure it is safe to try for anymore kids. I'm not saying you can't, I'm just saying it's better for your health, Emily."
"I can't have anymore kids?"
"I'm not saying you can't, I'm saying it's not safe," he explained.
Slowly nodding my head I stand up, "are we all ready to go now?"
He nodded is head and said his goodbyes.
--
I lied Noah down in his room that was right beside of Jason and I's room. Unlike Kyler, who has all black baby stuff, Noah has all white. A white crib, a white changing table, all white everything.
I walked out of Noah's room and saw Kyler eating the tooth paste in the bathroom, "Kyler!" I yelled which made him jump, "bad boy," I smacked his little hands.
His bottom lip began to tremble as I picked him up and washed his face and mouth out.
"Why is he crying?" Jason stood in the frame of the bathroom.
"Because he was eating the toothpaste so I yelled at him."
"Babe," Jason sighed and grabbed Kyler from me, "he's little and learning how to walk. He's gonna get into things."
"Okay so your just gonna let him get away with everything he does?"
"For right now, yes," he nodded his head and calmed Kyler down.
"Whatever," I sighed and walked out of the bathroom.
I went to our room and took a shower before lying down. I'm tired.
I was asleep not even a half an our before I felt someone shaking me to get me awake, "babe, wake up."
I groaned and pulled the covers over my head to try and block everything out.
"Baby I know you're tired but Noah needs to eat," he whispered.
We had decided in the hospital that I am going to breast feed Noah since he barely weighs anything and breast milk is better than formula.
I lazily sat up and looked up to see Jason slowly rocking Noah side to side with his pacifier in his mouth.
I reached out for him and began feeding him. Jason watched me the whole time while I just stared off into space.
"Are you tired baby?" I heard Jason's voice ask, making me snap back into reality.
Slowly nodding my head, I look down at Noah to see him sleeping but still eating, "worn out."
"I'm sorry," Jason sighed and sat down beside of me.
"It's not your fault," I sighed.
"I wish I could feed him so you can sleep," he looked at Noah as I burped him.
"He'll be on formula in no time, he just needs to gain some weight."
Jason slowly nodded his head and grabbed Noah after I fed him. I lied back down and slowly drifted off to sleep again. Dreams about me not being able to have anymore kids haunted me.
