I'm Still The Same-A Larry Stylinson and Niam Horayne Fanfic (AU)

Chapter 1

My name is Harry Styles. I'm 18 years old and I've just moved from Cheshire to London to attend Uni. I needed a fresh start where nobody knew me, well, the old me. I wasn't always Harry, I was born a girl named Hannah but from a young age I knew that wasn't me. At first my mum just thought I was a tomboy but I made it clear that I was a boy. I began hormones at 13 and all though I'm now of age to have gender reassignment surgery, I haven't made my decision whether or not to go through with it yet. My mum was completely supportive along with my sister Gemma although I know they still miss "Hannah." I couldn't have done this without them and the the support of my best friend Niall who I've known since kindergarten. He's the only one who stuck around through my transition and I'm so glad he'll be attending Uni with me in a few days. High school was not easy, I was bullied, I have scars both emotionally and physically that will never heal. It didn't help that I'm into guys. "Why would you want to turn into a dude just to be gay?" It was a constant question that I didn't have the answer to. I didn't "want to turn into a guy" I've always been a guy, I'm just in the wrong body, why would I choose to make my life harder? Just like I didn't choose to like guys. People never treated me the same after I began transition, they didn't even treat me like a human being. I don't understand why, I'm still the same.

Harry's POV

"Cheer up mate, I'll just be right next door" Niall said to me as we sat on my bed in the dorms. "I know but I was looking forward to sharing a dorm with you." I was thoroughly impressed by how much deeper my voice had gotten since the beginning of my treatment. It was now deeper than Niall's. I still needed daily hormone injections to make sure my testosterone levels were uo to where they need to be or else I'd start to go through female puberty and that was my biggest nightmare. "Besides Harry this will be a good opportunity for you to meet someone new, I love you and all but you're a pain in the arse to have around 24/7" he jokingly pushed me and I laughed but it soon faded. "I'm scared, what if they found out? What if they if they hate me? What if they don't find out but they are freaked out just by the fact that I'm gay?!" I soon couldn't breathe and I began seeing black spots.

Niall's POV

I saw Harry begin to have a panic attack and I quickly grabbed him and held him. "It'll be ok Harry. Match my breathing love, just focus on me." I took slow, deep breaths until Harry calmed down. He looked exhausted so I just slowly guided him down until his head was in my lap and I played with his curls until he fell asleep. I just sat there watching him sleep, sadly panic attacks were nothing new. He's been through so much, I wish I could just take all his pain away. I don't understand how everyone else just left him. I didn't care if he was Hannah or if he was Harry, I loved him for who he was, I just wanted him to be happy, he's my best mate. I grabbed his hand and slowly rolled up the sleeves of his jumper. I knew what was there but he never let me see them when he was awake. I gasped at what I saw, it wasn't the first time I've seen them but it shocked me because I had forgotten how bad they were. Deep scars that have been there for years but were still raised and prominent scattered across his entire arm. A tear rolled down my cheek as I ran my fingers over them. He was perfect, i wish he didn't have to experience any of the hurt he has been through. After awhile I slowly began to feel sleepy and I allowed myself to fall asleep, still holding Harry, making sure he was okay.