The Son and the Sparrow

Chapter Twenty Thirty(v3)

Chapter Thirty

Philip was curled into a ball on his bed, sheet wrapped around his pale body, crying softly to himself. The sheer loneliness was crushing. He hated himself for showing this much emotion, for letting the situation get the better of him, but he hadn't experienced a blow like this in ages. He felt like a child again, like that scared kid who couldn't figure out why his father beat him and how to stop it. Fear and loneliness overwhelmed his senses. Daniel was all he had, his only source of comfort. His strength. Without him, he was nothing. This wasn't like when Leon had kidnapped Daniel. Philip was aware that Leon would never go so far as to kill Daniel. Alexander was a different sort of creature. Alexander didn't see others as his friends, accomplices, even his companions. He didn't trust anyone, didn't have any loyalties but to himself. He hated the world, hated life, resented it, and for this reason didn't care what happened to anyone but himself. He was his own priority. Philip whimpered, once. A chill drifted through the house, which Philip could feel even through the sheet covering him.

Daniel had always been with him after Cale lost his mind. In a sense, Daniel had become his Cale. That one person he could trust. Daniel had protected him in the gang, in jail, no matter what happened. Daniel suffered on his behalf numerous times, and had forgiven him when he made mistakes. He had already risked Daniel's life once, and had almost lost him. Had very nearly killed him. And for this reason, he would keep Daniel alive at any price. He would do what Alexander wanted, no matter what, if that meant it would save Daniel. He wouldn't choose anyone over Daniel. Not again.

The door rattled a total of three times, startling Philip. He pulled the sheet tighter around him, almost for protection.

"Philip?" Leon's voice called. "Are you in there?"

He paused for a moment, listening for Philip's nonexistent reply. "Can I come in?" he asked.

Philip considered making some sort of effort to respond, but he simply couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead he slipped on a pair of pants that lay next to his bed from yesterday, less that Leon would walk in on him nude. He could sense Leon deliberating on the other side of the door.

"If you don't answer I'm coming in." Leon warned.

"What do you want?" Philip asked a bit sharper than he'd intended.

His bedroom door opened cautiously, and Leon peeked his head inside. He seemed displeased with Philip's apparent misery. "Are you alright?" He asked

Philip could have burst out laughing. Like hell I'm alright.

Leon cringed as though he could hear Philip's thoughts.

"I'm sorry." Leon apologized. "I feel as though this is my fault. And I wish I could help. I really do."

Philip could see Leon warring with himself. He felt responsible for Daniel's disappearance, wanted to help more than anything, yet he had to remember that what he did also affected his wife.

Philip glared at him. He wondered if Leon would take so little action if their roles were switched, and his love was in danger because of Philip. Daniel had saved Leon, and Leon in return treated Daniel like some wayward mutt.

"I miss him." Philip whispered, although he realized after a moment he said it loud enough for Leon to pick up.

Leon fidgeted. "What do you think happened to him?" he asked after a moment.