I Tried To Stay •Ronnie Radke Love Story• (completed)

Chapter Eighteen

Karma's POV

Its been a couple days on the road. Oliver got a tattoo on the back of his hand of a lone wolf hollowing at the moon and a lip ring. I got a dermal under my eye and a small tattoo on the inside of my wrist of daisy, which represents innocence, to represent Lilly. I find it kind of funny that I didn't go for a Lilly to represent Lilly, but she has a daisy personality. I've been continuing the cutting and hiding it from Ronnie. I have been avoiding a lot of questions from everyone lately and been acting like I'm fine. It is becoming really hard.

I've decided tonight to talk to Ronnie about the whole band against me moving in with him right away thing. The three bands are all in a hotel for the night. Ronnie and I got our own room which is a relief since we have been surrounded by people for a very long time. It will be nice to get away.

We get to the room and flop back on the bed, tired as hell. It has been a long night and only seems to be getting longer and longer to where I think it won't end. I haven't talked to Lilly since I fought with mom, but tomorrow I'm going to call till she answers.

"I cannot wait to get to LA." Ronnie says.

I sat up and looked at him.

"We need to talk." I say seriously.

"About?"

"LA."

"You aren't going?"

"No, I am."

"Then what is there to talk about?"

"Jake is supporting moving up there and talked the band into a plan where we work on new music and cool down on major touring. But... If I want that to happen I can't move in with you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean if I move in with you, the band splits up. Jake made that clear. He thinks it is a mistake."

"And you aren't fighting it?" He sits up, he is pissed. "You want to take his side over mine because he hates the fact we are together."

"He's being understanding!" I defend him. "He is my brother and matters to me."

"I'm the father of your child! You want to keep us away from being a family?"

"No, but I've done great with her so far."

"Yeah by stuffing her with your mom while you go get drunk in the name of music while hiding the fact she exists to the world and not telling her father she even exists!" He yells.

That stops everything, and I know he didn't mean to say that. I'm so hurt that I just go numb.

"Don't follow me." I say getting up and storming out of the hotel room. He doesn't follow me. I walk down the hall and in the elevator. I press the button to the first floor and walk out of the hotel. There is a outdoor pool area with a seating area. I slowly sit down in one of the chairs and feel my leather jacket pocket to find my cigarettes. I have half a beaten up pack of Marlboro Black 100's and a lighter. I light it and exhale into the dark.

"Hey." I hear a voice say. It is Craig.

"Of course." I sigh and take another drag. "Did you follow me?"

"No actually. I was going to the bus and saw you walking over here. You seemed upset."

"I am."

"Ronnie?"

"Don't start."

"I won't." He sits in a chair across from me. 

I look at him. "I want to be alone."

"No." He shakes his head. "I know what you do when you are hurt and alone." He's referring to the time he walked in on me cutting. 

"I don't do that anymore." I lied.

"I don't believe you." He sat back. "I see that same look in your eyes."

"Shut up." I roll my eyes.

"And defensive." 

"Shut up, Craig." I said through gritted teeth.

"Fine, so tell me about your kid."

I give him a look. 

"It will calm you down." He shrugged.

"Her name is Lilly. She's sweet and we both love Lilo and Stitch. She loves to get ice cream and has a twisted love for horror movies. She's girly and loves it when I do her hair, but we spend a lot of time just laying in bed watching movies."

"What's her favorite color?"

"She's always jumping from pink to purple to blue and on occasion yellow." I smile. "All pastels though. I can't wait till I can dye her hair weird colors."

"She sounds great."

"She really is. She's my life."

"Do you feel better?"

"Yeah, I do." I nodded. "I, um, need to go get my phone from the hotel room. I'm going to sleep on the bus."

"You want someone to join you?" He asked.

I laughed and touched his arm. "Don't be so cheeky. Jake is on the bus right now. He is going to order me pizza and tell me boys are stupid then make me watch horror movies till I fall asleep."

"See you later." He smiles and I leave.

Ronnie isn't in the room when I let myself in, so I can grab my phone which I left to charge. Then I go down to the bus where Jake orders us pizza, puts on horror movies, and tells me how awful guys are. It cheers me up, makes me laugh, and I'm able to go to sleep without cutting.