Craig and I had a great time. He picked me up, gave me flowers, took me out to dinner, and then dropped me off with a kiss. I just wish it was enough to get Ronnie off of my mind. My sadness caused me to be in tears when Craig left. I'm so confused. I was so lost in my misery that I forgot that Ronnie was dropping off Lilly. He walked out to the back yard where I was silently crying and smoking a cigarette.
"What's wrong" He asked, scaring me so badly that I dropped the lit cigarette.
"Shit." I put a hand to my chest. "You scared me."
"Lilly is asleep in her bed. How'd the date go? Did he upset you? I'll kick his ass if he hurt you." He said getting really mad.
"No, no, nothing like that." I said wiping away tears.
"Then what is it?"
"You don't want to get into this with me."
"Shut up and tell me already." He said playfully.
I sighed. "I'm confused."
"About?"
"My love life."
He was quiet, waiting for me to continue.
"Its just... I see you with Lilly and it makes me want you back so badly, but at the same time I have Craig. He's just so great for me. And you and him both make my head spin. I just can't make up my mind. It makes me so confused that I just can't think straight--"
Ronnie cuts me off with a kiss. His arms wrap around my waist and I don't think about old times. I think about now, in this moment. How everything that has been going on lately has been leading up to this. Our past was just practice and children exploring love and life together. When he kissed me, I knew then that he was the one for me. Nothing, not anyone, could change that. Ronnie wasn't only a true great love, but he was the father to my child. Craig couldn't change that. Ronnie left to go inside while I called Craig.
"Hey." He said after the phone rang four times.
"Hey." I said quietly.
"So why were you so distant tonight?"
"I didn't try to its just..."
"You are in love with Ronnie."
I was silent. "Yeah. I'm so sorry."
"I understand. I have been feeling the same way about Gabrielle."
"Can we still be friends?"
"Yes, but it might be weird. I still love you, but it is clear in a different way."
"I feel the same."
We both laugh, knowing there is love still there, but not the same love that we had in the past. I eventually go to bed with Ronnie, just sleeping, but I wake up feeling queasy. I go to the bathroom and throw up right into to toilet. My hands are shaking. I think about how I've been feeling. Chicken makes me sick, my boobs are sore, and now I'm throwing up. The last time I felt like this I was pregnant with Lilly.
Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh mother fuck!
Ronnie wakes up and walks into the bathroom.
"What's going on?" He yawns.
I look up at him and I'm scared. My drinking, my cutting, my smoking, my sleeping with two men... Who knows how this child will turn out or who the father is?
"You are scaring me." He chuckles and helps me up from my spot next to the toilet.
"I think I'm pregnant."
A long, long pause is loud in the air. He just stares at me. I flush the toilet, brush my teeth, and spray air freshener in the air. He eventually snaps out of it and hugs me. The second he touches me, tears flood out of my eyes. He just holds me.
"I'm glad you told me this time." He cracks a joke.
"Oh God, stop." I laugh wiping away stray tears. I pulled back. "I've slept with Craig. It could be his."
"Fuck that. This is my kid." He kisses my forehead. "Mine, you hear me?"
I'm startled by his commitment. Ronnie has been right for me all along. It just took maturity on both ends to make it happen.
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I Tried To Stay •Ronnie Radke Love Story• (completed)
Fanfiction(Finished) Karma and Ronnie are both rock stars with a connected past, but what Ronnie doesn't know is that Karma was pregnant when she ran off to New York City. No one outside a select few even know she has a kid, but when one tour brings Ronnie's...
