I Tried To Stay •Ronnie Radke Love Story• (completed)

Chapter Seventeen

Karma's POV

Oliver got the typical emo, layered haircut with silver hair with blue ombre tips. I also got silver with dark roots and the peekaboo that I had white before is dyed lilac. We both look pretty awesome and Oliver keeps cracking jokes that he actually looks like my son or younger brother now.

When we get back to the bus, I'm recovered from the Craig fight, but not ready to talk to him. Instead I just get ready for the show with my band. Jake is sitting and chatting with me while I do my makeup.

"Mom called me after you left." He brought up after we finished talking about what we are doing for Oliver's birthday.

"Oh?" I knew what was coming.

"Hear me out for a minute." He sighs. "So I talked to the band already. We all go to LA and move there. The band works on a kick ass new record and we stop doing tours for awhile. We play select shows, music festivals, and stay in LA a lot. We would have minimal time on the road, more time to relax, and still have our music."

"Alright." I nod. "That's perfect."

"But one condition that we all agreed on."

"Okay?"

"If you move into a place with Ronnie right away then the band is gone for good."

I think about it.

"Um... I'll need a day to think." I finally say. 

He nods. "Sounds good." He gets up and leaves.

I get done with getting ready for the show and look myself over. My hair is straightened, makeup perfect, and I'm wearing a Lilo and Stitch dress from hot topic, fishnets, and a pair of heeled ankle booties. I look good, but I feel sick from stress. I'm getting stressed out the more I think about the fight with my mom, the fight with Craig, the impending drama of ETF vs FIR, and the fate of my band in my hands. My hand has a tremor and my head is killing me. I smoke on the bus until it is time for sound check. During sound check I am off and keep messing up. It gets to a point where I just walk off stage and lock myself in my bedroom.

I do something I haven't done in a long time. I cut my upper thigh five times which relieves some of the built up tension in my body for a bit. I take the first aid kit and clean it up before anyone comes to get me. I haven't seen Ronnie, but he texts me that he has interviews. Right before my set, I slammed down two whiskey and cokes, my classic drink, and then Ronnie finds me. He gives me a quick hug and kiss, which cheers me enough to where the combined small amount of happiness and alcohol make a perfect combination to get though the set without any hiccups.

When I walk off, I pass Craig. He stops me. They have second between sets where the next instruments are set up.

"I'm sorry." He says right away. "I just got so sick of you lying to me."

"Sometimes people want to keep things a secret."

"Well, I was hoping to get back together with you. Then you took off with Ronnie... Shit happened, okay? I freaked out."

"We can't get back together."

"I understand that more now, but... Come on. Ronnie? How many times did you two hook up and break up?"

I shrugged. "That was years ago."

"Yeah, true, but just think about that."

"You were in my past too."

"I never cheated on you."

"I cheated on Ronnie. I was a kid then and so was he." I glanced to the stage. "They are ready for you."

I walked off and saw Ronnie watching us talk. He didn't seem mad, but he did seem guarded. I just give him a long hug until he stops tensing up his body.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"I slept with Craig the night before we went to go get Lilly. He wanted to get back together, but I told him I was with you now."

He seemed annoyed, but not mad at me like I thought he'd be.

"Well he lucked out." He winked at me. "I got you."

"Yes, you did." I gave him a quick kiss. "But we both have things to do, and I know I'm late for an interview."

"See you after?" He asked.

"After your set? Yes." I nod.

"Good, because the guys are  going out tonight and I want to bring you."

"You are going to drink?"

"Yes."

"Wow!" I laughed. "Then I will dress up for you all pretty like."

"Cannot wait." He gave me another kiss then let me go to my interview.

***

I'm getting ready in the bus and my head is killing me again. My hands are shaking really badly again. I just got off the phone with my mom. She called me a bad mother and a horrible daughter. She is threatening to try to get full custody of Lilly. It is bad, so I add another couple new cuts next to the ones from earlier. I thought I was done with this self harm bullshit.

I clean it, get ready, and Ronnie comes to get me. We all take one cab to a bar. We end up bar hopping. Ronnie and I dance together whenever we get a chance. We are both laughing like fools. It would be perfect if I wasn't drinking to forget why I've been stressed and I can't get the fact that Ronnie and I have done this before out of my head.

By three, Ronnie and I leave. We go back to my bus and Oliver is the only one there. He is planning out his tattoo that he is getting before the show tomorrow morning. I approve and promise to buy him a piercing tomorrow if he wants because I need a new one too. 

Oliver seems excited and leaves to go buy his own pack of cigarettes since he is officially eighteen. Ronnie and I go back to my room. In the heat of the moment he doesn't notice the fresh cuts and I keep his hands away from them. 

We end up falling asleep after, but it takes me longer to fall asleep. I have so much on my mind.