PROPERTY OF A. KENDRICK

Entry 50

October 13

I have to stay after school today for detention, since I was late too many times. I guess that'll be happening a lot in the future.

As I passed by the store on my way to pick up Liota, the doors opened and out came Vincent. It was too late to avoid him.

"Hey! Arawn!" He grinned enthusiastically. I ducked my head and continued walking. He grabbed my arm. "Arawn."

"Go away," I said, glaring back at him. "If someone sees us-"

"Chillaaaaax." He rolled his eyes. "No one's in sight. Ya got no excuse fer not talkin' t'me."

"M-maybe I don't like you?" I tried to tug my elbow away. Instead of letting go, he linked his arm in mine and started walking toward the alley, pulling me along with him.

"C'mon, Arawn, we both know ya do. How couldja not?" He grinned at me and wiggled his eyebrows. I might have laughed a little. I couldn't help it. "See?" He grinned even wider. I shook my head, frowning, and pulled away from him. This time he let me, but he didn't stop walking beside me even when I quickened my pace.

"Vincent." I stopped and turned toward him. "Why are you doing this?"

He looked genuinely confused. "Doin' what?"

I scowled. "Trying to befriend me!" I ran my hands through my hair. "I just don't get it! Why do you keep coming even when the whole world is pushing you away?!" I screamed. He looked somewhat taken aback, probably because I'd never raised my voice before. Then his gaze softened.

"'Cause you always look sad."

I narrowed my eyes. "What." Vincent hooked his thumbs in his pockets.

"Whenever you look over at that group of boys, you always look so sad. Not just lonely, Arawn." He looked me right in the eyes. "Like you lost something."

In that instant, my breathing stilled, and I felt like he could see all the way through me, to parts of my heart that even I didn't know.

"Back off." I backed away with gritted teeth. "Please, just..." I shuddered. "Oh god..." I pressed my hands against my eyes as a secret agony ripped through me, and suddenly I was crying, sobbing. I stiffened when Vincent's arms wrapped around me.

Vincent is a whole head taller than me. I've always been so much bigger than Liota. I have vague memories of hugs from my mother and my long-disappeared dad, but it was still unfamiliar to be the smaller party. It felt... safe.

After that I told Vincent that I needed to pick up my brother, and that I would see him tomorrow at school. It's strange, because crying around him didn't feel weird. It felt like he understood me. Vincent doesn't seem to know anyone at our school from elementary school. I wonder if he was like me before. Maybe he got a new start. But that isn't an option for me.