Why Don't You Love Me

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The lights. The music. The screams of thousands of fans.

Never had you imagined standing in the rush, watching your best friend preforming with all he had. The smile that played on his lips showed you exactly how he felt, the energy bursting from his performance transferring to you as you took in the sweet melodies of his music.

James Maslow had been your best friend since, well, almost birth. Having been with you for every up and down in your life, you felt it only right to do the same for him. But now, as you watched him exit the stage and walk towards the signing booth, you began to question your actions.

The scene before you had morphed quickly into a mob at the black covered table as the boys took over the room, still fired from the concert that had ended moments ago. Waves were passed and smiles were thrown but none were shot in your direction. Not even the one you cared for most. The only ones he truly looked at were his fans, most of them prettier than you could ever feel.

Why don't you love me?

The question ran deep in your thoughts as you remained in the semi-line that had formed, remaining silent as your hand gripped the white letter you had written only hours before.

You had confessed to the man less a year ago and was rejected for an unknown reason. He wouldn't even tell you why. All you received was a small, fake smile and a polite refusal that didn't even resemble the boy you knew as a child.

He didn't shut you out though. He tried to keep things as they were before but it only made matters worse. The small stitches that held your heart together slowly tore apart as you stayed close to him, knowing it could never go any further as you had hoped.

Questioning stares from the rest of the boys reached you at last as you approached but you ignored their silent questions as you placed the signature album on the table, indicating for them to sign the object.

Not objecting, they complied without a word, worry flashing across their faces as you finally reached James. Cutting him off before he could speak, your head finally rose as a saddened smile crossed your lips. As a fluid hand ran over the c.d. with a black sharpie, you silently slid the paper towards him.

"See you around." It was a broken promise and you knew that as you slowly turned away, a lone tear falling down your cheek as you clutched the c.d. tightly. It was the last thing that would ever bring you close to James and you would treasure it. Despite the heartaches, his presence was the only thing that soothed you. But it needed to be done and you pushed past the fans crowding for pictures of their idols.

***

James sat in shock at the encounter, his hand gripping the paper as his mind blurred over the other events occurred around him. All that mattered was the paper that was in his possession that was slowly being unveiled to his eyes.

James,

I don't know how I can do this anymore. Ever since I said those three words less than a year ago, it hasn't been the same. All I see now is the torment of being so close to you when my heart breaks a little each day. To be honest, I don't deserve you anyway. I'm not a model or even the covergirl that you write about, I'm just....me. I'm sorry I kept you this long and be happy for me. If not for me, then for the fans. They look up to you James. They really do. But there will always be one question on my mind.

Why don't you love me?

Ignoring the calls of the others, the chair fell from his sudden rise as he surveyed the room.

She wasn't there. Had she left already? Should he give up?

Staring at the confused but still overwhelmed crowd around him, his head seemed to clear as he jumped from the elevated platform, his hands softly pushing the girls away.

He needed to find you.

***

The tears that had fallen during your departure seemed to cake onto your face as you turned into a corner of the concert hall, needing to stop for a moment to recover. If you could ever do that.

He was gone. You needed to understand that. A shaky breath left your lips as his voice echoed in your head, your hand clasping your (h/c) locks as you tried to shut him out.

"No."

But your eyes had widened as a pair of arms wrapped around your fragile form, pulling you close into the arms of the one you never thought you would see again.

Shaking your head from thoughts of collapsing into his arms, futile attempts of pulling away were made as the tears continued in silent waves. "James. Stop. I can'-"

You were cut off once more as lips collided with your own, filled with truth and memories that you felt he had already forgotten. Breaking apart, his forehead connected with your own as his grip around you tightened, too scared of you disappearing once more.

"I didn't want you to be caught in the rush. I couldn't let you go through the pains of celebrity life as I followed my dream. It wouldn't be fair. I love you."

With those words, you had finally cracked. You weren't an outsider as you had previously thought as your arms wound around his sweaty form, the warmth from his body reaching your own.

"I'm sorry James."

Not addressing your previous statement, he merely continued his soft kisses.

"I love you (y/n)."

Copyright2015 LolaMonroe30


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