James Maslow Imagines (Clean Version)

Why Didn't You Go?!

"I'll be waiting for you."

The ticket lay resting in your palm as you sat on the balcony of your apartment. The half-filled glass that lay on the cement floor threatened to spill with the sharp wind and you quickly grasped it in your hand to preserve the sacred liquid. As your head hit the wall behind you, your legs pulled against your chest as you willed yourself to stay strong. To actually believe that what you were doing was right.

Staring into the hot sun, you forced yourself to hold the gaze as it slowly descended from the sky. You were supposed to meet him at this time. To say what you wanted and clear the emotions that had been eating you alive. But your feet stayed glued to the edge as your eyes finally broke the mock stare down to shut and hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

Why didn't you go?

He was the one that wanted to make things right. He was the one that urged you to go to the fair that you both loved. To meet at the House of Fun. The ride you always went on first. But as time slowly loomed forward and more thoughts crossed your mind, the will to venture there proved more out of the picture.

You were only going to get hurt in the end.

The strong aroma of the close ocean brought a stinging to your eyes, unlike the normal feeling it gave you. It felt horrible to know that the only thing that you thought could keep you sane would turn against you like the world had did. Feeling the weak barrier that held back the tears slowly start to crumble, you finished the last of your wine quickly before standing. You couldn't stay here any longer. The memories weighed down upon you with each second that passed, furthering the demise of everything you worked so hard to create.

Love, happiness, hope.

But despite all this, your mind never left from the thought of him. Not as you walked out barefoot in the streets or when they finally sunk into the darkening colors of the warm sand. The ticket grew wrinkled as you still grasped it tightly, worried that if you let go, everything from before would vanish from your memories. You couldn't bear the thought of that even if it would bring some peace of mind.

Letting (e/c) skim the scenery around you, sunken feet carried you to the cool water that carried on. You couldn't take it. The strong urge to just get away from here ran high as you thought over the option. You didn't want to be in the same city as him let alone a few minutes away. Looking towards the pier lined with lights, the soft drift of music and laughter caressed your ears as you glanced at the far end.

It was there. The ride that he was waiting by, hoping you would be coming soon. Hoping desperately that he had given up and gone home, your gaze tore from the sight as the tears began to fall from your now closed eyes. The strength to stay together, let alone stand, had left as soon as you succumbed to the pain and you collapsed onto the rough sand. Shards of forgotten bottles stabbed your bare legs but you didn't bother to remove them. You deserved it. You deserved worse. Sand coated hands, risen from ground you had fallen onto, covered your tear-stained face as you lost control, the grains of the ground below you falling softly onto your legs as your body racked against the sobs.

Would it be better if you never met him? To never have to face the time when you would make this decision? Would he care if you left? The depressed state you were in told you he wouldn't. He would forget about this. He wouldn't realize you were gone once time had passed.

But you couldn't live on. He was the thing that kept you going. The motivation that pushed you into the career of your dreams and to live the life you always wanted. Now, with him gone and the reminders still remaining, you didn't think you could return to that. Not when it had him lingering its wake.

Laying against the now cooled sand, you didn't hear the sound of footsteps approaching or how they stopped as he reached you, the shadow that would loom over you any day now invisible as the sun had finally set. Instead, you merely chose to let the sobs control you, your breath losing its power as the will to stay strong lost its fight.

"There you are." Freezing, you didn't dare remove your hands in fear that with one look at his face, you would give in. That you would run back into his arms and forget that what you were doing was for him. Instead, you chose to arise with your back to him, your now lowered hands forming into fists at your side.

"What are you doing here?" A pause. Something you didn't want as your heart broke in two. Waiting for what felt like an eternity, the held breath that was caught between your lips released as his smooth voice washed over the beach once more.

"I want to know why you didn't come." Wiping the hidden tears with a dirty hand, you struggled to come up with the words he wanted to hear.

"I-I don't know why."

"I know you do." How could he know you so well? All your progress of hiding the emotional state you were in from him was ruined as you spun around, the tears rushing past your cheeks faster than they had all day.

"I can't do this James. Knowing that because you may love me for a short time can ruin all you worked so hard for kills me and I can't take it." You paused, the rise in your voice returning back to a whisper as you looked into his hazel eyes before retuning to the ground below you two.

"I can't bear the thought of being without you but I don't want you to suffer for my selfish wants. I want you to be happy." Before you could even finish that statement, arms wrapped tightly around your fragile form as you struggled to catch a breath. Never did you think you would be telling him the truth. Perhaps in illusions or dreams but never with his true self so close to you. To your aching heart.

"James! What are you-?!"

"Did you honestly think I would be happy like this? To make me wait beside the ride that brought us together for hours and finally realize that you weren't going to show? I didn't- hell I still don't- care about the press and was ready to take both things I want in life and finally be happy like you say."

You couldn't let him continue. All the pent up emotions that leaked from his words washed over you, telling you that you were thinking more for yourself than for him unlike you originally thought. Finally giving in, your own arms snaked around his cold form as your tears fell over his exposed shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorr-"

"Don't say you're sorry. Just tell me that you'll come with me." Breaking apart for a brief moment, you offered the crumpled ticket before taking the object offered to you. In his hand, written neatly in his hand-writing, was a request that you never thought would be given to you.

Come with me on tour. To everything. Just.....be with me.

Smiling through the now happy tears, you pecked his lips before closing the distance between the two of you once more.

"Of course."