James Maslow Imagines (Clean Version)

No more Secrets

"Do you think they noticed?"

Casting a worried glance in your boyfriend's direction, your body unconsciously snuggled closer towards his side on the couch. You missed this. Having only a few moments to enjoy each other's company, neither one of you wasted the time you had. As his arms traced circles on your arm before kissing your cheek, he replied with a gentle smile.

"I doubt it." Letting a sigh work its way past your lips, (e/c) eyes filled with a sadness that had been constantly creeping up on you for the past few months.

It was your fault that your relationship had turned out this way. During your high school years, not even a day passed by without insults being thrown between James and yourself. You hated each other and the reason now appeared as a blur. Neither one of you remembered and didn't wish too. The present was so much better anyway.

It had all happened so fast. Once you landed a job at a Hollywood set after college, you didn't realize until the day you packed all your stuff that it was for the production of Big Time Rush. You knew that he was a member of the band, the rest of your friends were keen on telling you the fact. Even when they knew about how you felt about him, they still had the need to tell stories of their experience as a band.

But when your eyes landed on his form that had barely changed since high school for the first time in years, a new outlook seemed to wash over you. Despite the new appearance, he still had that aura that pulled you towards him even when your rivalry continued.

You didn't know how a relationship had grown. Before long, he had asked the question that made your heart stop and nod like a teenage girl in love. But despite the new feelings that arisen, the both of you couldn't bear to tell the ones who knew you for so long. Not in fear of the mocking that was sure to come but for their disapproval. That they would remember the past and overlook the way you felt now.

So instead, you chose to hide it. To resume the harsh comments thrown on both ends and savor the moments that you could be like this. To be wrapped in each others arms without the fear of being caught.

Lifting your head to look into his hazel orbs, you pecked his lips quickly as if to assure yourself that this was right. That both of you felt the same way.

How long could you take this though? As a young girl, you always wanted a relationship where you could be loved and have the world know it. But instead, you were stuck in a private one with the only positive being that the man who chose to be your partner was the one you loved. Who made you happy despite the situation you landed in.

Tears welled in your eyes as you thought of this, your hands wiping them away quickly to try to hide the break down that wanted to consume the peace. Truthfully, you had lost control in the past. Behind closed doors, you released your anger before putting on a brave face and continuing with the day.

But now, as he finally saw the start of one of those episodes, you regretted the slip. Through blurred vision, you watched as his gaze saddened and the actions he had previously done stopped to hold you tightly.

Attempting to reassure him that you were fine before he could comment, a fake smile appeared on your lips as you kept eye contact. If you broke it, you knew the lies would go to waste as your actions further gave them away.

"I'm fine. Really." He didn't believe it and you knew it. The piercing gaze that seemed to look through you brought your stomach to churn as you stood abruptly, briskly walking to the door as you spoke.

"I just remembered that I have something to do." With that, you left the room to let the tears finally break free. Your hurried steps filled the quiet hallway as your hand covered your mouth, choking your sobs as you searched for an escape. You didn't notice the guys pass by you and cast a worried glance. All that mattered was the storage closet at the end of the hall that would be your sanctuary until you actually calmed down.

***

They knew. Deep down the other members of the band knew of the relationship the two of you shared. But too weary to admit the truth, they presumed that it was a figment of their imagination. That it really was the same as high school and the both of you hated each other.

But as they spared a glance at the open dressing room of the fourth member and felt the displeasure that leaked from the room, they knew it was true. That they were holding back something that meant the world to their two closest friends.

Walking past the door which held the man clasping his head in pain, a look of guilt swept over all three of them as they found no option to fix something they had little control over.

***

Wiping the tears that had streaked across your face, you stood shakily while twisting the door knob. Break had ended a few minutes again and not wanting to worry anyone, including James, you walked with a fake air of happiness to the set.

But it ended all too soon as a shock wiped over your complexion. Wrapped within his arms, the warmth radiating from his body almost made you forget it all. How you were in front of everyone you hid it from. How the fears that tried to consume you almost won moments ago.

Finally regaining some sense of recognition, you tried to push him back before anymore trouble arose.

"James. What are you doing you self-centered moro-."

"I'm tired of doing this. I don't want to hide the best thing in my life. I'm not afraid." The words you had always wanted to hear filled the silence that swept over the studio as you stood frozen, the tears that you pushed back now returning for a different reason.

Wrapping your arms around him tightly, you nodded against his chest as the smile on your lips spread into a grin. Muffled by his shirt, you spoke loud enough for him to hear.

"No more hiding."