Barely Breathing

chapter 42

Every morning when you wake up there is a few seconds where you are happy, you don’t recall the worries and troubles in your life or the good things… your mind is blank. After those few seconds had past the events from last night came into my thoughts. I turned my phone back on attempting to face my cheating bastard of a boyfriend and that whore who slept with him. Of course I had over 30 missed calls from Reece all of which had voice mails. I had also noticed he had tagged me in a post on Instagram. It was a picture of us right after the pregnancy scare, I was snuggled into his chest and he was kissing the top of my head. The caption read ‘my bestfriend and the love of my life, @taylorcatenzaro. Thankyou for the part you have played in my life, I literally can’t imagine my life without you. You are the most beautiful human being both inside and out and I love you to bits.’ This made me smile for the slightest second then I remembered everything he had done and the ache in my heart returned. At that moment there was a knock on my door followed by my sister entering the room.

“Taylor can we talk?” she asked standing at the end of my bed. 

“I guess” I said not even looking at her. 

“Aimee called me and told me what went down, Taylor I really don’t think they had sex” she said. 

I sat up instantly “How the hell would you know?” I said in a condescending way. 

“Well Aimee told me the story and it does sound like her and well Reece is a great guy, I don’t think either of them would ever do that to you.” She did have a point…

“You didn’t see them Ashley, ok?” I said setting her straight. 

“Oh did you actually see them doing shit?” she said feeling bad.

“Well… no…but I saw Reece coming out of the bathroom then Aimee a few minutes later” I said realising I actually had no argument on my hands. 

“Oh… well did you hear them?” she asked.

“No… but-“ she cut me off. 

“Taylor…. Were you drunk last night?” she asked. 

“A little buzzed” I grudgingly admitted. 

“Well if I know you, you were probably looking for an excuse… mum mentioned he asked you to move in with him… are you sure you weren’t just looking for a reason not to?” she asked. Stupid sister, always having to make sense.

“I don’t know maybe? Ashley I’m just so confused. I feel like I am too young to make such a commitment, I mean, I’m not even 18 yet!” I said in defence for myself.

“But Taylor, you’ve always known the right decision to make for yourself. I know I am sounding like Mum here but it’s true! Half the time you’re more mature in your decision making than I am and I’m 22 for fucks sake!” she exclaimed.

“Yea but I’ve never been a relationship this serious before and it scares me to death!”

“Taylor” Ashley said pulling me back over to my bed and sitting me down. She held my hands in hers, I had a sudden rush of de ja vu, of these moments, of Ashley being the caring big sister. “What is the absolute worst case scenario if you move in together?”

I had a think for a minute, “we would break up” I said with a sad voice.

“Taylor, if your guys’ relationship is really as serious as you say, you’ll be moving in eventually anyway, this way you can maybe test the waters out a little bit before you make the biggest commitment” I looked at her confusingly, “marriage” she said. I pulled a face and she laughed.

“See? After thinking about marriage, moving in isn’t that big a deal. Just think of it as…you’re his roommate…but you happen to sleep in the same bed and sometimes not sleep…naked.”