Please Dont Let Me Go

A Sad State

please play the song on the right, it really makes the chapter sink in!! ^^) thxx -fantezie

~~~~~~~~~~

Weeks later...

"Emilie, please open the door, dear." my mother whined, ever since she stayed over that night she stayed for a few more weeks.

I called him. Twenty-six times. And he didn't pick up, ever. "Emilie, you know you can't stay in there forever." Dad said.

I could if I wanted to.

I stared at my phone. Failed calls, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb.

"Emmie, I'm calling Mackenzie." my dad said again. Now she will come. And try to comfort me.

Was my mother right? I didn't know anymore. Why would I want to know, if he probably never wants to see me again.

"Emilie Noelle, please don't overreact. It's not the end of the world." my mom tried to soothe me.

It wasn't, that was true. I guess he wasn't the world to me, so if he's gone I will still survive.

I still loved Caleb. The love was still there.

I wasn't so sure about him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later..........

"Ellie? Ellie? Is she okay? What happened to her? Is she hurt?" I heard the door bust open and Mackenzie yelled. She ran up the stairs and I heard a big crack and she zoomed into my bedroom.

"What is your freaking problem?" Mackenzie roared.

I didn't answer.

"What, you don't have an answer?" Mackenzie asked furiously, "What is the meaning of all this?"

I looked down and around.

"Now your all depressed just because the guy you loved just trashed you?" Mackenzie screeched, "I can't believe this. This is sickening! This is not like you, Emilie. Something happens to you, and you get over it. You don't just sit around acting all movie-like."

I wasn't acting movie-like...I guess I was. I began to open my mouth to say something.

"No, Emilie. Who cares if you don't have anyone to hold on to? 'Cause you always do. You just gotta stop being pathetic and stuffing yourself in your room." Mackenzie exclaimed, "So I suggest you get your little sad butt up and over all this drama. Because in 20 years you'll forget it. And so will everybody else."

I was silent.

"Maybe I care about you, maybe I'll cry with you, but sometimes...sometimes you just gotta tough it up. Because soon enough your life might be over, and you'll have no time left to make up for all those years." Mackenzie screamed.

She was about to leave. "Oh, and one more thing. I have the note between you and Caleb. I found it on Higgins's desk and I was going to frame it for you as a birthday present. Guess you don't need it anymore." She tossed it on my bed. "Call me once you decide to not live your life as a sad, whiny teenager." She wept a little as she slammed the door as she left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mackenzie was absolutely right.

I remembered a few weeks ago she told me, "Your instinct may be right.". I wonder.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I grabbed my phone. I dialed Caleb. He didn't pick up.

I swiped the note from me and Caleb.

I thought you didn't like me. - C

I do. You like me too, right? - E

Yeah. :) - C

I remembered thinking about the field of heart-shaped daises and roses. I remember cuddling with Caleb. I remember his jacket. I looked in my closet. I had drawn a heart on it. I went to my closet and put the jacket on.

"Woah, you're freezing. Here, take my jacket."

"Thank you."

"No prob."

I remembered that too.

Then I remembered our hands intertwining.

My biggest dream... my biggest wish... came true all before my eyes. With the guy I loved. And the next day, it just...disappeared.

I wiggled my fingers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I checked the calendar. November 30. The last day of November. Tomorrow will be December. Then it will snow. And I'll be cold. Like I am inside.

~~~~~~~~~~

After a cold December day at school, I sat in my room. It began to snow.

I opened my window, and climbed down. I had no gloves on, just a long sleeved shirt, my jeans and some fur boots.

Some of the floor was icy. I recognized the ice somehow.

"I see you..." I whispered to the ice, "Cay."