Peace. Love. Zombies.

Chapter 19: Don't count the miles, count the I Love You's

“Wh- What?” I stuttered. It came out barely over a whisper. I hopped down from the table and stood in front of Eli, looking into those beautiful ash colored eyes of his. I could feel tears welling up in my own. I told you I would be upset if one of my members tried to leave, but this was Eli-the man that I was in love with-was going to leave me all because I wanted to go to a different country. We were being separated over something so stupid.

“I think I want to stay here,” Eli said. I thought I could feel a sharp pain in my chest, where my heart was. My throat was dry and I was at a loss for words.

“But- but,” I began but again, couldn’t find the right words. Everyone was staring at us as we had our quiet moment. “I’m sorry,” I said as I pushed through our friends and out of the crowd. I heard Eli shout my name but I didn’t turn back. My feet pounded against the cold tile and my tears began to blur my vision. I couldn’t imagine this life without Eli, just the thought broke my heart. Feet were thumping against the ground behind me and I pushed myself faster and made my way out of the building in my grey skinny jeans, “Keep Calm and STFU” short sleeved shirt and my favorite boots. The only thing I had to fend against zombies was the one I keep with me most of the time- one Samurai Edge and an extra magazine. I ran in search for the clearing Eli and I spent part of our day together in. I eventually found it and sat down in the snow, hugging my knees close to my chest. I may have acted a bit melodramatic, running away and all, but I had a decent reason to. My body shook with the sobs escaped my lips as the warm tears raced down my cheeks. The icy air nipped at the bare skin on my arms and face. With the cold winter air of Canada, it wasn’t long before my fingers began to numb and I could feel my lips begin to turn blue. A jacket fell around my shoulders and I looked up to find Eli giving me a sort of sad smile. I just looked back up at him with face probably full of remorse. He plopped down next to me and we just stared at each other in silence. He finally put an arm around me and pulled me in close to him.

“Are you alright?” he asked. I shook my head violently and wiped a few tears that were crawling down my cheeks. “I’m sorry, but I don’t see why we can’t just stay here, things are perfect the way they are here.”

“As much as I love how nice things are here, I want a bit more action in my life. I honestly don’t want to die of old age, if I’m going to die, I’m going to die with a fight,” I stated, “but I also want to die with you. You know that.”

“So what are we going to do?” He asked, resting his head on my shoulder as we stared aimlessly into the woods.

“I don’t know, Eli,” I said as I let more tears fall.

“Please don’t cry,” he said as he wiped away a few tears. “We’ll figure it out, we still have phones so we can just call each other,” he said, trying to lift my spirits.

“But what happens when we can’t contact each other anymore?” I asked quietly. “What happens when we go to separate countries and we never see each other again? What happens when one of us dies?”

“Please, don’t be such a pessimist, Gwyn. Nothing is going to happen to us,” he said.

“How can you be so sure?” I asked.

“I just do,” he said. Then he pressed his lips against my forehead. “Now come on, Gwyn, let’s get inside.” I nodded and we stood up from the cold ground and made our way to the large mall that we were staying at with his arm around me.

The days went by slowly as I tried to make a decision. Should I stay or should I go? I kept asking myself. I hadn’t really seen Eli in that time ‘cause I had been hiding out in F.Y.E. I did nothing but contemplate on my decision while listening to music and eat. A few people had found me and talked to me but I begged them not to tell Eli where I was. I wanted time alone. I had spotted Eli a few times and narrowly avoided going up to him and try to convince him to make ends meet. It was the day that I tell Eli my decision and I was sitting on the hard tile floor of Hot Topic, waiting for him to come back. I had all of my stuff packed in a duffle bag but I left Eli some weapons. My bag was lying next to me and the strap was draped over my shoulder. I was playing with my thumbs with a bored expression on my face and I let out a heavy puff of air.