Jill's POV
1 week later
I woke up running to the bathroom puking. I didn't feel good at all and I knew why. Why? Because that night I cried myself to sleep just thinking about the thought of Hayes leaving. Leaving me. 1 more week and that's it. I can't even think straight. I've been eating. That's good. Way more than I actually eat. But that's okay. At least I'm eating. I don't want to. But I do.
Next week Rachel is gonna fly down to North Carolina with Nash and we are all gonna say goodbyes there. Then Rachel and I will take a flight back to Cali and start a whole new life there.
This is actually the most I've cried. One night I cried so much at the thought of the Grier's leaving, Elizabeth actually had to hold me and tell me to calm down. Hayes stood at the doorway and silently cried.
Hayes and I still talk. We have to. We need to. We were so stupid to fall in love. We're 16. We have a car. We have a life. He had a career. I could have a career in the future. We have a whole life ahead of us. We shouldn't be thinking about relationships. We're just 2 stupid teenagers thinking love could heal our broken souls. Do I regret falling in love with Hayes? No. Not at all. If I could, I wish I could back in time and redo it all. Even if it meant getting hurt again because in the moment I would be with Hayes.
I've lost interest in everything. All the things I used to love doing, I haven't done them or even thought about doing. Major pieces of me are missing and I can't help but feel I'm going to be lost when Hayes leaves. No one. And I mean no one, sees that I'm fading away slowly.
Almost the whole house is empty. Even my room. It just makes me cry more at the thought of that. The Grier's have taught me everything. More than my whole family ever has.
I talked to them. My family. They are so excited to see me. They can't wait. But I don't wanna leave North Carolina and go back to Cali with all my shit left behind from there.
People know my story from Cali and I don't want them to know. I don't want them to know I'm back. That place knows all my secrets and I don't want that.
This is all stupid. I can't even imagine what Rachel is going through. I talked to her the other day and she was crying through the phone. She said she wasn't, but she was. I could tell.
-
After I was done puking I brushed my teeth and headed down stairs to see Hayes in front of the camera. Probably making a YouTube video like always. He sees me and motions me to come over and pull up a chair. I did as I was told and sat in front of the camera.
A/N: if it's in italics then Hayes and Jill are talking directly to the camera.
"Hey YouTube. This is Jill, must of you must know her. She was kind of my ex.." Hayes says, scratching the back of his neck and looking down awkwardly.
My heart kind of broke a little.
"It's only awkward if you make it awkward." I state.
"I don't want it to be awkward." Hayes says, whispering but loud enough for the viewers to hear them when he uploads the video.
I look directly at the camera. Straight at it. To where I can see the red dot, signaling its on and recording.
"Hayes and I were just 2 stupid teenagers thinking love could heal our broken souls. We didn't think we would love each other this much, till it actually happened."
Hayes just stays silent, but soon speaks.
"As for you guys know. I don't regret dating Jill. I still love her. I'm not afraid to admit I still love Jill Watts. But most of you guys already know, My family and I are moving to create a new journey for the future. As much as I want Jill to be with us.." Hayes says, with a crack in his voice, "we need to make our own journey and separate."
I nod. Even though it broke my heart.
"I think now it's time to get to the real video.. I kind of just wanna do an #AskJayes.." So here goes nothing." Hayes says, beginning.
Minutes has passed and we did about 10 questions each. We were finally done and Hayes was wrapping up his video.
"Again, thank you for all of you beautiful faces supporting me and I hope you enjoyed this video as much as I loved making it! Please subscribe to my YouTube channel and look at the links because I put Jill's and mine under there and tell your friends! Next week will be the week I'm leaving so Jill and I will do a goodbye video.. Thank you guys for everything. I love you. Bye."
And that was that.
"Thank you for doing the video with me. You probably weren't expecting it." Hayes says, awkwardly.
"It's fine," I state, "I don't regret dating you either, Hayes."
"I really hope I see you in the future, Jill. I really do." Hayes says.
"Me too," I say with half a whisper.
"How am I gonna live without you?!" Hayes says, about to cry.
"You just do it. You force yourself to get up and you don't give up. It's gonna be hard but you can do it. We can do it."
He comes over to me and wraps his arms around my waist as he brings me into a hug. His cologne takes up my nose as I bury my head in his neck as he rocks us back in forth almost like we're dancing.
You see,
We aren't perfect.
But we were perfect for each other.
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one more chapter, loves.
