Hayes POV
{ Listen to 'Shutters - Hayden Calnin' }
"Where's the diary?" I say, whispering.
"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Rachel asks me.
"Guys, I'm just gonna go home. I'll see you guys later." Lizzy says, walking out of the door.
"Am I gonna hurt her?" I ask Rachel. "She can't know because she's probably asleep, right?"
"I don't know if you are gonna hurt her or not, Hayes. That's the point. You are right. She's asleep. But, she could wake up. But, that's most likely." Rachel says, sighing.
"Ok, you are right. Hayes, you don't have to do it if you don't want to." Nash says.
"Hayes, I'm not gonna stop you. It's your decision." Rachel says.
"But, that's the thing. I wanna read part of her journal. I wanna see what she's writing about." I say.
"Under the pillow." Rachel says.
"What?" I say, confused.
"It's under her pillow. The pillow she sleeps under." Rachel says, sighing.
"Alright." I say.
"Be careful. I don't want her waking up." Rachel says.
I nod as I head up the stairs. I make my way to her room and I turn the knob slowly, trying not to wake her up. I succeed successfully. I take a deep breathe as I go towards her bed. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps. She looks cute.
I go onto her pillow until I touch her journal. She tosses and then stays in one position. That was so close.
"I'm sorry, Jill." I say, whispering.
I pull the journal out from under her pillow and leave her room.
I head down stairs.
"Guys, I got it." I say.
"Then what are you waiting for?! Open it up and read it!" Nash says.
All Rachel does is sigh, but I need to know what she writes about. I soon begin reading out loud from Jill's journal.
[ Hayes is reading parts from when Jill lived in California. They go in order from what Jill writes about. If they are italics, then that means Hayes is reading from Jill's journal. ]
"Someone once asked me if I ever dreamed of escaping. I looked up at the little girl and said: 'Escape? How do you even dream of that when you are trapped?' Then she asked me to shut my eyes and dream of anywhere. Who cares if you are trapped. Just think of somewhere, anywhere. And I said: 'I don't care. Just out of this hell hole.'"
I look up at Rachel and she looks like she's about to cry.
"W-What is she talking about?" I ask, worried.
"Keep reading." She says, with a crack in her voice."
I nod, slowly. As I continue on to the next page.
"I'm not gonna cry in front of somebody anymore. Unless they are special to me. I will get judged and beat down. Sometimes I wish I could scream at my family that I'm not OK. That I'm not who they think I am. That I'm to the point where I could possibly hate myself. But, I can't do it. I can't because mom and dad are constantly fighting."
She cried in front of me. Me.
"Oh my god." Rachel says, breaking out in tears.
